I feel that there is still a great deal I need to learn about the workings
of my mind before I can get anywhere near full consciousness or
spiritual enlightenment.
No, you don’t. The problems of the mind cannot be solved on the level
of the mind. Once you have understood the basic dysfunction, there
isn’t really much else that you need to learn or understand. Studying
the complexities of the mind may make you a good psychologist, but
doing so won’t take you beyond the mind, just as the study of
madness isn’t enough to create sanity. You have already understood
the basic mechanics of the unconscious state: identification with the
mind, which creates a false self, the ego, as a substitute for your true
self rooted in Being. You become as a “branch cut off from the vine,”
as Jesus puts it.
The ego’s needs are endless. It feels vulnerable and threatened and
so lives in a state of fear and want. Once you know how the basic
dysfunction operates, there is no need to explore all its countless
manifestations, no need to make it into a complex personal problem.
The ego, of course, loves that. It is always seeking for something to
attach itself to in order to uphold and strengthen its illusory sense of
self, and it will readily attach itself to your problems. This is why, for
so many people, a large part of their sense of self is intimately
connected with their problems. Once this has happened, the last thing
they want is to become free of them; that would mean loss of self.
There can be a great deal of unconscious ego investment in pain and
suffering.
So once you recognize the root of unconsciousness as identification
with the mind, which of course includes the emotions, you step out of
it. You become present. When you are present, you can allow the
mind to be as it is without getting entangled in it. The mind in itself is
not dysfunctional. It is a wonderful tool. Dysfunction sets in when you
seek your self in it and mistake it for who you are. It then becomes
the egoic mind and takes over your whole life.