I don’t see how I can be free now. As it happens, I am extremely
unhappy with my life at the moment. This is a fact, and I would be
deluding myself if I tried to convince myself that all is well when it
definitely isn’t. To me, the present moment is very unhappy; it is not
liberating at all. What keeps me going is the hope or possibility of
some improvement in the future.
You think that your attention is in the present moment when it’s
actually taken up completely by time. You cannot be both unhappy
and fully present in the Now.
What you refer to as your “life” should more accurately be called your
“life situation.” It is psychological time: past and future. Certain things
in the past didn’t go the way you wanted them to go. You are still
resisting what happened in the past, and now you are resisting what
is. Hope is what keeps you going, but hope keeps you focused on the
future, and this continued focus perpetuates your denial of the Now
and therefore your unhappiness.
It is true that my present life situation is the result of things that
happened in the past, but it is still my present situation, and being
stuck in it is what makes me unhappy.
Forget about your life situation for a while and pay attention to your
life.
What is the difference?
Your life situation exists in time.
Your life is now.
Your life situation is mind-stuff.
Your life is real.
Find the “narrow gate that leads to life.” It is called the Now. Narrow
your life down to this moment. Your life situation may be full of
problems — most life situations are — but find out if you have any
problem at this moment. Not tomorrow or in ten minutes, but now. Do
you have a problem now?
When you are full of problems, there is no room for anything new to
enter, no room for a solution. So whenever you can, make some
room, create some space, so that you find the life underneath your
life situation.
Use your senses fully. Be where you are. Look around. Just look, don’t
interpret. See the light, shapes, colors, textures. Be aware of the
silent presence of each thing. Be aware of the space that allows
everything to be. Listen to the sounds; don’t judge them. Listen to the
silence underneath the sounds. Touch something — anything — and
feel and acknowledge its Being. Observe the rhythm of your
breathing; feel the air flowing in and out, feel the life energy inside
your body. Allow everything to be, within and without. Allow the
“isness” of all things. Move deeply into the Now.
You are leaving behind the deadening world of mental abstraction, of
time. You are getting out of the insane mind that is draining you of
life energy, just as it is slowly poisoning and destroying the Earth. You
are awakening out of the dream of time into the present.