All inner resistance is experienced as negativity in one form or
another. All negativity is resistance. In this context, the two words are
almost synonymous. Negativity ranges from irritation or impatience to
fierce anger, from a depressed mood or sullen resentment to suicidal
despair. Sometimes the resistance triggers the emotional pain-body,
in which case even a minor situation may produce intense negativity,
such as anger, depression, or deep grief.
The ego believes that through negativity it can manipulate reality and
get what it wants. It believes that through it, it can attract a desirable
condition or dissolve an undesirable one. A Course in Miracles rightly
points out that, whenever you are unhappy, there is the unconscious
belief that the unhappiness “buys” you what you want. If “you” — the
mind — did not believe that unhappiness works, why would you
create it? The fact is, of course, that negativity does not work. Instead
of attracting a desirable condition, it stops it from arising. Instead of
dissolving an undesirable one, it keeps it in place. Its only “useful”
function is that it strengthens the ego, and that is why the ego loves
it.
Once you have identified with some form of negativity, you do not
want to let go, and on a deeply unconscious level, you do not want
positive change. It would threaten your identity as a depressed,
angry, or hard-done-by person. You will then ignore, deny, or
sabotage the positive in your life. This is a common phenomenon. It is
also insane.
Negativity is totally unnatural. It is a psychic pollutant, and there is a
deep link between the poisoning and destruction of nature and the
vast negativity that has accumulated in the collective human psyche.
No other life-form on the planet knows negativity, only humans, just
as no other life-form violates and poisons the Earth that sustains it.
Have you ever seen an unhappy flower or a stressed oak tree? Have
you come across a depressed dolphin, a frog that has a problem with
self-esteem, a cat that cannot relax, or a bird that carries hatred and
resentment? The only animals that may occasionally experience
something akin to negativity or show signs of neurotic behavior are
those that live in close contact with humans and so link into the
human mind and its insanity.
Watch any plant or animal and let it teach you acceptance of what is,
surrender to the Now. Let it teach you Being. Let it teach you integrity
— which means to be one, to be yourself, to be real. Let it teach you
how to live and how to die, and how not to make living and dying into
a problem.
I have lived with several Zen masters — all of them cats. Even ducks
have taught me important spiritual lessons. Just watching them is a
meditation. How peacefully they float along, at ease with themselves,
totally present in the Now, dignified and perfect as only a mindless
creature can be. Occasionally, however, two ducks will get into a fight
— sometimes for no apparent reason, or because one duck has
strayed into another’s private space. The fight usually lasts only for a
few seconds, and then the ducks separate, swim off in opposite
directions, and vigorously flap their wings a few times. They then
continue to swim on peacefully as if the fight had never happened.
When I observed that for the first time, I suddenly realized that by
flapping their wings they were releasing surplus energy, thus
preventing it from becoming trapped in their body and turning into
negativity. This is natural wisdom, and it is easy for them because
they do not have a mind that keeps the past alive unnecessarily and
then builds an identity around it.
Couldn’t a negative emotion also contain an important message? For
example, if I often feel depressed, it may be a signal that there is
something wrong with my life, and it may force me to look at my life
situation and make some changes. So I need to listen to what the
emotion is telling me and not just dismiss it as negative.
Yes, recurring negative emotions do sometimes contain a message,
as do illnesses. But any changes that you make, whether they have to
do with your work, your relationships, or your surroundings, are
ultimately only cosmetic unless they arise out of a change in your
level of consciousness. And as far as that is concerned, it can only
mean one thing: becoming more present. When you have reached a
certain degree of presence, you don’t need negativity anymore to tell
you what is needed in your life situation. But as long as negativity is
there, use it. Use it as a kind of signal that reminds you to be more
present.
How do we stop negativity from arising, and how do we get rid of it
once it is there?
As I said, you stop it from arising by being fully present. But don’t
become discouraged. There are as yet few people on the planet who
can sustain a state of continuous presence, although some are getting
close to it. Soon, I believe, there will be many more.
Whenever you notice that some form of negativity has arisen within
you, look on it not as a failure, but as a helpful signal that is telling
you: “Wake up. Get out of your mind. Be present.”
There is a novel by Aldous Huxley called Island, written in his later
years when he became very interested in spiritual teachings. It tells
the story of a man shipwrecked on a remote island cut off from the
rest of the world. This island contains a unique civilization. The
unusual thing about it is that its inhabitants, unlike those of the rest
of the world, are actually sane. The first thing that the man notices
are the colorful parrots perched in the trees, and they seem to be
constantly croaking the words “Attention. Here and Now. Attention.
Here and Now.” We later learn that the islanders taught them these
words in order to be reminded continuously to stay present.
So whenever you feel negativity arising within you, whether caused by
an external factor, a thought, or even nothing in particular that you
are aware of, look on it as a voice saying “Attention. Here and Now.
Wake up.” Even the slightest irritation is significant and needs to be
acknowledged and looked at; otherwise, there will be a cumulative
buildup of unobserved reactions. As I said before, you may be able to
just drop it once you realize that you don’t want to have this energy
field inside you and that it serves no purpose. But then make sure
that you drop it completely. If you cannot drop it, just accept that it is
there and take your attention into the feeling, as I pointed out earlier.
As an alternative to dropping a negative reaction, you can make it
disappear by imagining yourself becoming transparent to the external
cause of the reaction. I recommend that you practice it with little,
even trivial, things first. Let’s say that you are sitting quietly at home.
Suddenly, there is the penetrating sound of a car alarm from across
the street. Irritation arises. What is the purpose of the irritation? None
whatsoever. Why did you create it? You didn’t. The mind did. It was
totally automatic, totally unconscious. Why did the mind create it?
Because it holds the unconscious belief that its resistance, which you
experience as negativity or unhappiness in some form, will somehow
dissolve the undesirable condition. This, of course, is a delusion. The
resistance that it creates, the irritation or anger in this case, is far
more disturbing than the original cause that it is attempting to
dissolve.
All this can be transformed into spiritual practice. Feel yourself
becoming transparent, as it were, without the solidity of a material
body. Now allow the noise, or whatever causes a negative reaction, to
pass right through you. It is no longer hitting a solid “wall” inside you.
As I said, practice with little things first. The car alarm, the dog
barking, the children screaming, the traffic jam. Instead of having a
wall of resistance inside you that gets constantly and painfully hit by
things that “should not be happening,” let everything pass through
you.
Somebody says something to you that is rude or designed to hurt.
Instead of going into unconscious reaction and negativity, such as
attack, defense, or withdrawal, you let it pass right through you. Offer
no resistance. It is as if there is nobody there to get hurt anymore.
That is forgiveness. In this way, you become invulnerable. You can
still tell that person that his or her behavior is unacceptable, if that is
what you choose to do. But that person no longer has the power to
control your inner state. You are then in your power — not in
someone else’s, nor are you run by your mind. Whether it is a car
alarm, a rude person, a flood, an earthquake, or the loss of all your
possessions, the resistance mechanism is the same.
I have been practicing meditation, I have been to workshops, I have
read many books on spirituality, I try to be in a state of nonresistance
— but if you ask me whether I have found true and lasting inner
peace, my honest answer would have to be “no.” Why haven't I found
it? What else can I do?
You are still seeking outside, and you cannot get out of the seeking
mode. Maybe the next workshop will have the answer, maybe that
new technique. To you I would say: Don’t look for peace. Don’t look
for any other state than the one you are in now; otherwise, you will
set up inner conflict and unconscious resistance. Forgive yourself for
not being at peace. The moment you completely accept your non-
peace, your non-peace becomes transmuted into peace. Anything you
accept fully will get you there, will take you into peace. This is the
miracle of surrender.
You may have heard the phrase “turn the other cheek,” which a great
teacher of enlightenment used two thousand years ago. He was
attempting to convey symbolically the secret of nonresistance and
nonreaction. In this statement, as in all his others, he was concerned
only with your inner reality, not with the outer conduct of your life.
Do you know the story of Banzan? Before he became a great Zen
master, he spent many years in the pursuit of enlightenment, but it
eluded him. Then one day, as he was walking in the marketplace, he
overheard a conversation between a butcher and his customer. “Give
me the best piece of meat you have,” said the customer. And the
butcher replied, “Every piece of meat I have is the best. There is no
piece of meat here that is not the best.” Upon hearing this, Banzan
became enlightened.
I can see you are waiting for some explanation. When you accept
what is, every piece of meat — every moment — is the best. That is
enlightenment.