USING AND RELINQUISHING NEGATIVITY

 

All inner resistance is experienced as negativity in one form or

another. All negativity is resistance. In this context, the two words are

almost synonymous. Negativity ranges from irritation or impatience to

fierce anger, from a depressed mood or sullen resentment to suicidal

despair. Sometimes the resistance triggers the emotional pain-body,

in which case even a minor situation may produce intense negativity,

such as anger, depression, or deep grief.

The ego believes that through negativity it can manipulate reality and

get what it wants. It believes that through it, it can attract a desirable

condition or dissolve an undesirable one. A Course in Miracles rightly

points out that, whenever you are unhappy, there is the unconscious

belief that the unhappiness “buys” you what you want. If “you” — the

mind — did not believe that unhappiness works, why would you

create it? The fact is, of course, that negativity does not work. Instead

of attracting a desirable condition, it stops it from arising. Instead of

dissolving an undesirable one, it keeps it in place. Its only “useful”

function is that it strengthens the ego, and that is why the ego loves

it.

Once you have identified with some form of negativity, you do not

want to let go, and on a deeply unconscious level, you do not want

positive change. It would threaten your identity as a depressed,

angry, or hard-done-by person. You will then ignore, deny, or

sabotage the positive in your life. This is a common phenomenon. It is

also insane.

Negativity is totally unnatural. It is a psychic pollutant, and there is a

deep link between the poisoning and destruction of nature and the

vast negativity that has accumulated in the collective human psyche.

No other life-form on the planet knows negativity, only humans, just

as no other life-form violates and poisons the Earth that sustains it.

Have you ever seen an unhappy flower or a stressed oak tree? Have

you come across a depressed dolphin, a frog that has a problem with

self-esteem, a cat that cannot relax, or a bird that carries hatred and

resentment? The only animals that may occasionally experience

something akin to negativity or show signs of neurotic behavior are

those that live in close contact with humans and so link into the

human mind and its insanity.

Watch any plant or animal and let it teach you acceptance of what is,

surrender to the Now. Let it teach you Being. Let it teach you integrity

— which means to be one, to be yourself, to be real. Let it teach you

how to live and how to die, and how not to make living and dying into

a problem.

I have lived with several Zen masters — all of them cats. Even ducks

have taught me important spiritual lessons. Just watching them is a

meditation. How peacefully they float along, at ease with themselves,

totally present in the Now, dignified and perfect as only a mindless

creature can be. Occasionally, however, two ducks will get into a fight

— sometimes for no apparent reason, or because one duck has

strayed into another’s private space. The fight usually lasts only for a

few seconds, and then the ducks separate, swim off in opposite

directions, and vigorously flap their wings a few times. They then

continue to swim on peacefully as if the fight had never happened.

When I observed that for the first time, I suddenly realized that by

flapping their wings they were releasing surplus energy, thus

preventing it from becoming trapped in their body and turning into

negativity. This is natural wisdom, and it is easy for them because

they do not have a mind that keeps the past alive unnecessarily and

then builds an identity around it.

Couldn’t a negative emotion also contain an important message? For

example, if I often feel depressed, it may be a signal that there is

something wrong with my life, and it may force me to look at my life

situation and make some changes. So I need to listen to what the

emotion is telling me and not just dismiss it as negative.

Yes, recurring negative emotions do sometimes contain a message,

as do illnesses. But any changes that you make, whether they have to

do with your work, your relationships, or your surroundings, are

ultimately only cosmetic unless they arise out of a change in your

level of consciousness. And as far as that is concerned, it can only

mean one thing: becoming more present. When you have reached a

certain degree of presence, you don’t need negativity anymore to tell

you what is needed in your life situation. But as long as negativity is

there, use it. Use it as a kind of signal that reminds you to be more

present.

How do we stop negativity from arising, and how do we get rid of it

once it is there?

As I said, you stop it from arising by being fully present. But don’t

become discouraged. There are as yet few people on the planet who

can sustain a state of continuous presence, although some are getting

close to it. Soon, I believe, there will be many more.

Whenever you notice that some form of negativity has arisen within

you, look on it not as a failure, but as a helpful signal that is telling

you: “Wake up. Get out of your mind. Be present.”

There is a novel by Aldous Huxley called Island, written in his later

years when he became very interested in spiritual teachings. It tells

the story of a man shipwrecked on a remote island cut off from the

rest of the world. This island contains a unique civilization. The

unusual thing about it is that its inhabitants, unlike those of the rest

of the world, are actually sane. The first thing that the man notices

are the colorful parrots perched in the trees, and they seem to be

constantly croaking the words “Attention. Here and Now. Attention.

Here and Now.” We later learn that the islanders taught them these

words in order to be reminded continuously to stay present.

So whenever you feel negativity arising within you, whether caused by

an external factor, a thought, or even nothing in particular that you

are aware of, look on it as a voice saying “Attention. Here and Now.

Wake up.” Even the slightest irritation is significant and needs to be

acknowledged and looked at; otherwise, there will be a cumulative

buildup of unobserved reactions. As I said before, you may be able to

just drop it once you realize that you don’t want to have this energy

field inside you and that it serves no purpose. But then make sure

that you drop it completely. If you cannot drop it, just accept that it is

there and take your attention into the feeling, as I pointed out earlier.

As an alternative to dropping a negative reaction, you can make it

disappear by imagining yourself becoming transparent to the external

cause of the reaction. I recommend that you practice it with little,

even trivial, things first. Let’s say that you are sitting quietly at home.

Suddenly, there is the penetrating sound of a car alarm from across

the street. Irritation arises. What is the purpose of the irritation? None

whatsoever. Why did you create it? You didn’t. The mind did. It was

totally automatic, totally unconscious. Why did the mind create it?

Because it holds the unconscious belief that its resistance, which you

experience as negativity or unhappiness in some form, will somehow

dissolve the undesirable condition. This, of course, is a delusion. The

resistance that it creates, the irritation or anger in this case, is far

more disturbing than the original cause that it is attempting to

dissolve.

All this can be transformed into spiritual practice. Feel yourself

becoming transparent, as it were, without the solidity of a material

body. Now allow the noise, or whatever causes a negative reaction, to

pass right through you. It is no longer hitting a solid “wall” inside you.

As I said, practice with little things first. The car alarm, the dog

barking, the children screaming, the traffic jam. Instead of having a

wall of resistance inside you that gets constantly and painfully hit by

things that “should not be happening,” let everything pass through

you.

Somebody says something to you that is rude or designed to hurt.

Instead of going into unconscious reaction and negativity, such as

attack, defense, or withdrawal, you let it pass right through you. Offer

no resistance. It is as if there is nobody there to get hurt anymore.

That is forgiveness. In this way, you become invulnerable. You can

still tell that person that his or her behavior is unacceptable, if that is

what you choose to do. But that person no longer has the power to

control your inner state. You are then in your power — not in

someone else’s, nor are you run by your mind. Whether it is a car

alarm, a rude person, a flood, an earthquake, or the loss of all your

possessions, the resistance mechanism is the same.

I have been practicing meditation, I have been to workshops, I have

read many books on spirituality, I try to be in a state of nonresistance

— but if you ask me whether I have found true and lasting inner

peace, my honest answer would have to be “no.” Why haven't I found

it? What else can I do?

You are still seeking outside, and you cannot get out of the seeking

mode. Maybe the next workshop will have the answer, maybe that

new technique. To you I would say: Don’t look for peace. Don’t look

for any other state than the one you are in now; otherwise, you will

set up inner conflict and unconscious resistance. Forgive yourself for

not being at peace. The moment you completely accept your non-

peace, your non-peace becomes transmuted into peace. Anything you

accept fully will get you there, will take you into peace. This is the

miracle of surrender.

You may have heard the phrase “turn the other cheek,” which a great

teacher of enlightenment used two thousand years ago. He was

attempting to convey symbolically the secret of nonresistance and

nonreaction. In this statement, as in all his others, he was concerned

only with your inner reality, not with the outer conduct of your life.

Do you know the story of Banzan? Before he became a great Zen

master, he spent many years in the pursuit of enlightenment, but it

eluded him. Then one day, as he was walking in the marketplace, he

overheard a conversation between a butcher and his customer. “Give

me the best piece of meat you have,” said the customer. And the

butcher replied, “Every piece of meat I have is the best. There is no

piece of meat here that is not the best.” Upon hearing this, Banzan

became enlightened.

I can see you are waiting for some explanation. When you accept

what is, every piece of meat — every moment — is the best. That is

enlightenment.