A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.
2. Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things. Boy: What are the two things? Girl: Your feet.
3.A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away. "What was that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse. "Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language."
4.My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith. So I asked him "What was the name of his other leg?"
5.The doctor to the patient: ‘You are very sick’
The patient to the doctor: ‘Can I get a second opinion?’
The doctor again: ‘Yes, you are very ugly too...’
6. One day an English grammar teacher was looking ill. A student asked, "What's the matter?" "Tense," answered the teacher, describing how he felt. The student paused, then continued, "What was the matter? What has been the matter? What might have been the matter...?"
7. Teacher: Rumiko, be careful your purse is open. Someone might take your money!
Rumiko: Oh, no. I left it open so I can get more money. Teacher: How can you get more money? Rumiko: The weather report said we would have some change in our weather!
8.Boyfriend: What is your favorite music group? Girlfriend: I love U2!
Boyfriend: I love you too, but what is your favorite music group?
9. A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "So what's with the long face?"
10. I hear this new cemetry is very popular. People are just dying to get in.
11. One day a man went to see the Mozart's tomb. When he got there, the tomb was open and Mozart was sitting there tearing up pieces of paper. The men asked: "What are you doing with all of your great works of music?" Mozart repied, "I'm decomposing!".
12. There is this man who meets a fairy. He is granted three wishes. Having wished for his most urgent needs the man uses his third wish to ask the fairy to return and give him three more wishes. The fairy complies and says: "You can call me whenever you want." "How can I call you? Please tell me your name." the man says. "My name is Nuff," says the fairy. "Well", says the man "That is an odd name. I have never heard of it before." The fairy replies, "Surely you will have heard of Fairy Nuff." (fair enough)