What a Language!

"What a language English is!" a Frenchman exclaimed in despair. "I once called on an English friend and the maid who came to the door said, 'He's not up yet. Come back in half an hour.' "

"When I came again, she was setting the table for breakfast and said, 'He's not down yet.'"

"I asked: 'If he's not up and he's not down, where is he?'" "She said, 'He's still in bed. When I say 'He's not up', I mean he has not yet got up; when I say, 'He's not down', I mean he has not yet come downstairs!' "