All of us want to be loved with unconditional, eternal love—a love that sees beyond beauty, intelligence or any other superficial quality. We want to be loved simply because we are. At the same time, we all have a natural, innate tendency to share our love with others. This preoccupation with love arises because in reality we are eternal, loving beings whose souls are filled with knowledge and bliss. Although in this physical embodiment we are temporarily covered by material energy, our nature is inherently divine, and we are always seeking the blissful love of the spiritual kingdom where our real fulfillment lies.
But something always seems to go wrong. Despite our constant search, we usually experience disappointment, finding that our experience of love is temporary. Although we may have tried and failed in a variety of relationships, we persist in believing that the right person is out there somewhere. For some mysterious reason, we just never seem to be in the right place at the right time.
The World Lacks Love
Countless people in the world today have never felt truly loved. They have no idea what love really is, despite their deep longing for it. In fact, in everyday relationships, the term “love” has developed too vague a meaning and may even indicate something quite different, such as control or need. For example, the idea of love is often reduced to a mere bodily exchange or to a process of trying to gain gratification from someone else—by force if necessary. This is not love.
The problem arises because we are looking for answers in all the wrong places. We have forgotten the spiritual dimension of life. A society without a spiritual nucleus lacks the “cosmic glue” to make everything work. Love is this cosmic glue that holds us together as we learn to know and relate to one another and, ultimately, to the Supreme Personality of Godhead.
Modern society seems to have forgotten this. But deep down, even though the experience of love often eludes us, we know that love is our birthright. It is as if someone were holding something deliciously tantalizing in front of us just beyond our reach. We want it, we know it is available, but we are not quite able to grasp it. So we substitute something else, hoping to find happiness in wealth, prestige or power. Let us look more deeply at how this works by first examining what love is not.
Love Is Not About Getting Something
Genuine love is not concerned with personal gain, but rather with the quality of the exchange between those involved. When we think only of ourselves, trying to arrange matters to get what we want, we are not expressing love. Unconditional love is never based on trying to receive anything. Instead, it is an experience of giving and a joyful activity in which each participant strives to share more generously than the other.
This point is particularly relevant for a society that frequently equates love with sex. Sex provides one of the greatest pleasures we normally experience here, and we try to enjoy it as frequently as possible. Practically every major effort to influence our consciousness is based upon trying to entice us sexually. Unfortunately, this attempt to enslave human civilization is succeeding all too well. As we have already seen, countless advertisements today try to stimulate the public’s sexual desire in order to boost sales. Consequently, people focus outwardly and do not attribute value to knowing each other or themselves. In fact, because they cannot get beyond the “body game,” their consciousness remains enslaved and subject to physical passions.
But love has nothing to do with the amount of sexual pleasure we can obtain from another person. Love is not about sex. People often say “Let us make love,” when they actually mean, “Let us have sex.” When we believe that sex is love, then even incest becomes acceptable, because a father who loves his daughter will feel free to approach her sexually. Indeed, all over the world, incest is increasing, and we mentioned earlier how so many of its victims carry tremendous wounds, sometimes for life.
Love has nothing to do with exploitation. It is not a business deal or an accounting system that requires the actions of one person to be balanced by those of another. Instead, love expresses genuine concern for the well-being of others. This is difficult to understand in our “gimme” society, which assumes that people always have ulterior motives for their actions.
We often settle for security relationships, which operate like a business: “You satisfy me, and I will satisfy you.” Unfortunately, as soon as a disturbance arises in our contract, we are ready to seek another relationship. Ultimately, real love has nothing to do with what somebody else says or does. It is based on us—not on the other person—and is an expression of what we are, what we have and what we can share.
When we love someone, we want to do something for that person. If we really care for our husband, our wife, our child or our friend, we will be excited about each opportunity to serve. And once we have rendered service, we will become even more excited, because we will be happy to know we have been able to assist. Whenever a difficulty arises, we will be eager to do something for our beloved to demonstrate our caring and commitment, without expecting anything in return.
Love Is Not a Feeling
Most of us consider love to be a feeling that ebbs and flows according to the circumstances. But genuine love is not linked to what we feel, nor does it depend on any external conditions. Real love is divine, and cannot exist separately from the source, which is God.
Love is not something we can turn on and off like a faucet. In our society, we often do not understand this. A man and a woman may make marital vows, and then change their minds in a few months or years. In such a state of consciousness, we are constantly looking for something outside of ourselves instead of tapping the wellspring of love within. Although we may occasionally be disturbed by someone’s actions, true love remains firm, because it is based on something far deeper than mere sentiment. When love is sentimental, any upset may suddenly turn the object of our affections into an enemy.
Many people have difficulty establishing meaningful relationships with others. Once the initial infatuation wears off, they are disappointed to discover that their relationship was reactive rather than proactive. A proactive person has vision-centered principles and a philosophical orientation, whereas a reactive person is preoccupied with self-centered concerns such as eating, sleeping, defending and mating. Reactive people view everything in terms of personal enjoyment. For them, love is a feeling that enhances their sense of well-being so that, whenever they are not getting what they want, they withdraw.
On the other hand, when we are genuinely loving, we are not concerned with ourselves at all. Love is a verb: we empathize, appreciate, share, help and give. We are not trying to feel good or control the environment to enhance our own pleasure.
Love Is Not Always Pleasant
Because love is not defined by our pleasant feelings, pain can be an integral part of love. Although most of us would prefer to experience happiness and eliminate pain from our relationships, this attitude is based on a desire to satisfy our senses. Genuine love can indeed bring us great happiness, yet it can also cause extreme suffering.
If we examine our lives even a little, we notice that our greatest pain has almost invariably come from relationships with those we love. Perhaps we tried to give and were not fully appreciated, or perhaps we wanted to make a loving connection and somehow could not. Who cannot remember the deep hurt of being betrayed, disappointed, neglected or abandoned? At the same time, our greatest happiness has also come from relationships with others. It is a paradox that love, the most healing force there is, can also make us so vulnerable to pain.
In a loving relationship, each difficulty in our lives becomes a challenge to glorify and serve the Lord. When we care about someone, the hard times are wonderful because they demonstrate the need for greater communication. Because our partner did not receive our words or actions in a loving spirit, we see a need for love. This gives us an exciting opportunity to serve and to support the well-being of the other person.
When we are in control, we feel good about everything. But as soon as events do not go as planned, we may become unwilling to accommodate our partner. Whenever we experience doubts about the relationship, we turn away. These doubts may arise because we lack strong faith or feel insecure. Often we project our fears and phobias onto our partner and onto our environment to avoid facing the fact that the problem is within our own consciousness. Then, even if somebody gives us a compliment, we may think suspiciously “What do you mean by that?” Some people remain entrenched in a mood of negativity no matter what happens.
Our goal as spiritual warriors is to become so loving that nothing seems to bother us. In this state, we will not be affected by negativity at all. Instead, we will be grateful for negative comments as well as praise, and may even interpret harsh words in a loving way. At first, this may seem naive. But actually, such behavior reflects strong faith in the Lord and a willingness to share our faith and love with others. All of us actually have the capacity to become so fixed in our love that everything in the environment only helps us to be more loving. This is the mood of a true spiritual warrior.
Jealousy and Envy Are Not Love
However, even in spiritual circles, people often do not understand how to love one another. Despite a seeming commitment to a spiritual lifestyle, individuals may experience envy and jealousy of their peers. For example, if one person is advancing spiritually, others who are trapped in material consciousness may be unable to feel happiness for that individual. Instead, they become jealous and mean-spirited.
People who worship fame, money and material comforts are attached to temporary aspects of life. Ultimately, they are destined to be unhappy, because everything temporary deteriorates. They are condemning themselves to loss and frustration. This pursuit of selfish pleasures is a general feature of modern Western culture. In the process of climbing our way to the top, we are conditioned to think, “I only win when you fail.” In order to build ourselves up, we are eager to see someone else’s demise. We may even sabotage a potential rival, believing that this is the way to become successful.
However, we should remember that whenever we feel sad, disturbed and envious of another’s success, we are unqualified for the blessings of spiritual life. In these circumstances, we must work on ourselves to dissolve our selfish motivations, so that eventually we can reach the point of being happy and enthusiastic for the accomplishments of others. We are always enhanced rather than diminished by another person’s growth.
Love Is Stronger than Doubt
Love must transcend any doubts we may have about the value of spiritual life. Persistent doubts are always detrimental to spiritual advancement, making us vulnerable to materialistic illusions and weakening our alignment with spiritual guidance and protection. This does not mean that we should be blind followers who accept spiritual teachings without question. Doubts naturally arise as we progress along the spiritual path. But to avoid the dangers inherent in prolonged, lingering doubts, we should address each question immediately as it arises. Our sincere inquiries can put doubts to rest without leaving an opening for negative influences to lead us astray.
Spiritual life requires great intensity, strong faith and firm conviction. Unresolved doubts make the body and the mind revert to old familiar patterns, behaving just like drug addicts who return to the familiar solace of drugs whenever life becomes difficult. If our faith and strength have vanished, we naturally resort to our previous coping mechanisms to find some comfort.
Indeed, most of us are addicts. We are powerfully addicted to the senses and to our lower nature, which have been our steady companions for a long time. As we develop spiritually, we must be careful not to become too unbalanced, or we may revert to old patterns. That is why we must resolve our doubts as quickly and honestly as possible.
The Source of Love
Now that we have seen what love is not, let us look more closely at what love is, and where it comes from. The origin of love can only be found in a place far beyond this material world. In fact, deep love cannot exist independently from the Supreme Lord, because He is the source and storehouse of everything. Those who lay claim to love without a connection to the Godhead may think they have valuable diamonds but are actually in possession of only so much cut glass. Because they lack the essential spiritual connection, in reality they have nothing. Genuinely spiritual people, on the other hand, are automatically loving, because they are conduits for God’s own energy. As they radiate divine love, they naturally share it and help others to connect with it.
Our longing for eternal love is a sign that we are out of our natural state. This temporary earthly condition does not fulfill us, because physical bodies and material interactions always come to an end. We want to be loved eternally, because we are imperishable, spiritual beings for whom love is an expression of the soul.
Ultimately, all major spiritual traditions confirm that we are loving entities who are out of place in the material world. They teach that we have a chance to experience far more love than we normally encounter in our daily lives. As we become more loving and make efforts to serve others, we gradually enter into the realm of divine love. When we offer such genuine love to others, we receive much more in return. Once we develop a deep spiritual connection, we begin to experience the greater pleasures that we had previously anticipated but did not find in material life. We discover a love that is endless, unlimited by time and circumstances and completely fulfilling.
Unconditional Love Is Spiritual
Unconditional love, then, is beyond material concerns. It exists in a realm that transcends the mind and the body, and is related to the nature of the soul. Its natural expression is free from limitations of the body such as birth, disease, old age and death. To experience such love, we must set aside our personal desires for sense gratification and give up taking action just to elicit a predetermined response.
Unconditional love must be just that: without conditions, unmotivated and uninterrupted. Such love is beyond any effort to be good, upright, ethical or moral. Many “good” people only do the right thing to gain recognition and approval. In contrast, an action based on unconditional love is one we perform even if others blame us for it. For example, a mother may know that her child does not want to stop playing to eat dinner. But, undeterred by the child’s anger, she calls him into the house anyway, because she knows he needs nourishment.
The elements that make up the physical world are all part of God’s separated, or external, energies, and not directly related to the deeper aspects of the Divine. Pure, unmotivated love, on the other hand, is transcendental to anything material and can ultimately connect us with the Lord’s potent internal energies.
In Sanskrit, we speak of sat-chit-ananda-vigraha, meaning that the soul is eternally absorbed in the ecstasy of love, permeated with full knowledge and steeped in bliss. Deep love cannot exist without knowledge and appreciation. In the absence of these qualities, love becomes abstract and general. We cannot deeply love someone whom we do not know, even if we have a generally “nice” feeling about that individual. The most we can express is a sense of vague admiration.
The more we know about those we love, the more our love can be deep and substantive. Genuine love is based on an awareness of particular attributes and qualities. When we know the beloved well, we gain a profound appreciation of that person and understand how to serve most effectively. On the other hand, if we do not know much about someone, our unfamiliarity can produce difficulties because we lack the proper understanding to develop effective communication and action. In the same way, we cannot love God without a great appreciation for who the Lord is, what the Lord does and what the Lord desires from us.
A Gathering of Sages
With all the Hollywood depictions of sentimental love so prevalent in our mechanized society, many of us have difficulty understanding the true meaning of spiritual love. We have little opportunity to go beyond a bodily relationship or to view others as anything but extensions of ourselves. These approaches to love are so pervasive that they even affect our attitude toward God. We have a tendency to think of the Lord as someone who can fulfill our personal desires, and so we have no interest in serving Him selflessly in an unmotivated, unconditional way.
The Srimad Bhagavatam, an ancient and extremely sacred Vedic scripture, describes an assembly of yogis and great mystics from many different paths who assembled long ago in a forest in India known as Naimisaranya. They came together to address the question: “What is the highest human activity?” These yogis were eager to discover the most expedient processes for attaining the highest level of spiritual development. They were prepared to stay together and ponder the question for years if necessary, until they could come to some satisfactory conclusion. Despite the fact that they came from many different traditions, they all shared the common goal of wanting to experience the greatest spiritual truths.
In the midst of this gathering appeared one very unusual pure devotee of the Lord by the name of Suta Goswami. He was so oblivious to the material world that he wore no clothes, and he was so profoundly entranced with thoughts of the Lord that people thought he was a madman. Despite his appearance, the sages at the assembly understood that this strange person was an extraordinarily great spiritual being.
The seekers at the assembly had a deep level of sincerity. In any spiritual gathering, the sincerity of the speakers and that of the audience are extremely important. This extraordinary being was completely selfless and unmotivated. He did not come to the assembly to impress anyone, nor did he come under any particular protocol. He simply wandered into the environment, where he found the yogis determined to know the truth and ready to perform any ritual, practice or study that might help them discover it.
What eventually emerged from the meeting was the understanding that spirituality is never a matter of one creed or dogma versus another. The wandering sage did not dwell on such temporary conceptions, nor did he imply that one teaching was higher than any other. Instead, he spoke of the importance of knowledge, service and love of God beyond any externals, explaining that love and service form the true foundations for self-realization. When we love God unconditionally, we do not pray for relief from anxiety, distress or frustration. Such prayers are not indicative of high-level devotion. Instead, we need to learn how to share our love by offering unmotivated, uninterrupted service.
Love Is Unmotivated Service
Love is far more than sweet-sounding words; it only becomes real through our behavior. We express our love by what we do. If someone professes love for another but is unwilling to serve that person, the love is not deep. It is theoretical and not genuine. If we do not demonstrate our love by dynamic activity, something is wrong. The deeper the love, the more we will express it by selfless service to the object of our love.
This understanding of love as service is fundamental to all the major world religions. Although these religions differ superficially in many respects, they are united around one central point: true religion means service to God. Whatever we call ourselves—Christian, Jew, Muslim, Buddhist or Hindu—is not particularly significant, nor are the rituals we perform. Behind all the exterior practices is the fact that each religious path has come into being to provide us with specific ways to love and serve God.
Although love transcends seeing, hearing and feeling, all of these elements may be incorporated into selfless service. When our love is unconditional, we do not seek a particular experience for our own benefit, as we would if we engaged in self-interested behavior to gratify our senses. Selfish actions do not allow us to develop a deeper connection with God, but are based on “I” and “my wants,” “my desires,” “my body.” They are not genuinely focused on the other or on rendering service to the beloved.
The more we give and share what we have, the more we put the Lord first, inconveniencing ourselves for His service. If we have little, we give a piece of bread or a glass of water. If we only have a banana, then that is what we offer. If we have anything at all to eat, then the other person should be able to eat also.
When we love someone, we want to offer care; we are eager to express what we feel inside by doing something for the object of our love. A man who loves his wife and children does not just say so; he spends time with them and cares for their needs. A woman may claim to love her husband and child, but if she does not feed her child or assist her husband, then we may rightfully doubt her sincerity.
Sometimes we may say loving words despite feelings to the contrary, in order to gain approval or the reassurance that we ourselves are loved. This behavior does not reflect either love or service. We should not speak untruthfully just to be rewarded. If our love is genuine, we will freely and wholeheartedly share ourselves with the beloved without wondering, “What’s in it for me?”
If love had something to do with expecting a particular response, what would happen if we did not get the one we wanted? When we equate love with sense gratification, we risk becoming angry, morose or disappointed whenever we are not satisfied. Yet most of us attach conditions to our love, because foremost in our minds is our own comfort. But unconditional love goes far beyond our personal satisfaction, even to the point of exposing us to great inconvenience on behalf of the beloved.
Service is natural. We are always serving someone or something, and those who love one another understandably want to express their love through service. That is why we have the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” When we see ourselves as servants of the beloved, we seek to please the other as a spontaneous expression of our love. We are indifferent to praise or blame. But unfortunately, although we may try to serve enthusiastically, our motivation is often impure; we want to be recognized and appreciated. We must learn to serve willingly even in the absence of any reciprocation or acknowledgment.
We should remember that the way we treat others is actually the way we are treating ourselves, because everything eventually comes back to us. Why do some people always have so much help and care? Because they give it, and therefore it returns to them in kind. Why is it that no one trusts those who do not trust others? Because that distrustful energy is coming full circle back to them. We have to be careful of what we do and how we think, because our thoughts and actions set forces in motion to bring the results back to us.
We can test ourselves by doing a favor anonymously for someone we really care about. Generally, when we offer a gift, we send a card identifying ourselves as the giver and implying that we expect some measure of recognition for our generosity. Obviously, this is not selfless, unconditional behavior, because it is based on self-glorification. We can only pass the test of selfless, unmotivated service when we help someone without seeking praise, happy simply in the knowledge that we have taken the right action.
Becoming Transcendental
When we genuinely serve another person with unconditional love, we are surrendering to the will of God. We are setting our personal interests aside and doing the necessary, no matter what the cost. Because of our love, we do not react even when someone is critical or angry. We just find a more tactful way to accomplish our service. We go on being humble, which means being concerned about others and making even better arrangements for them than we would for ourselves, because we love them even more than ourselves. That is genuine unconditional love.
Such steadfast behavior means that we are becoming transcendental instead of remaining merely sentimental. We are sentimental when we are attached to feeling good, to maintaining peace at all costs or to tolerating the misdeeds of others in order to avoid their displeasure. This is a form of sense enjoyment that is a hindrance in spiritual life. As we have seen, real love is not based on wanting to feel good, mentally, psychologically or physically. The focus of such a superficial approach is egocentric, because we are just using a relationship, even with God, to get what we want.
We become transcendental when we rise above the material state of affairs and the platform of everyday mediocrity. We elevate ourselves by keeping our focus clear, persevering in our spiritual practices and passing our daily tests. We do not allow obstacles, such as our own senses or those of other people, to stand in the way.
Love does not always mean that we maintain contact with another person, or that we are gentle and kind. Sometimes we must go away or speak harsh words. But such actions are soft to the heart, because the motivation is selfless. If we are capable of real love, we do not stop loving others even if we decide to be abrupt or stop associating with them. Despite appearances, our first priority should always be their highest good.
As spiritual warriors, we should always seek to raise the energy level around us. When we practice upgrading our surroundings, we progress quickly because we are radiating divinity and love wherever we go. According to the law of karma, whatever we give to others we will receive back in kind. Therefore, the more love we give, the more we will experience.
This brings us to the subject of empowerment. Although we may want to help others, we may not believe that we have sufficient love to give. In such situations, the Lord dwelling in our hearts can respond to our call, empowering us to serve beyond our normal capacities. Indeed, highly spiritual people do not rely solely upon their own intelligence or their normal understanding. Their deep, genuine commitment brings unlimited love, knowledge and realization beyond their own personal limitations. That is why, when we become receptive to the Lord’s help, miracles start happening.
Daily Life Is a Training Ground
The sages and yogis at the gathering described in the Srimad Bhagavatam understood, by the mercy of Suta Goswami, that love was based on unmotivated service to God. They realized that genuine spirituality meant becoming servants of everyone. The same is true for us. In everyday life, our relationships with one another are practice for the divine relationships we will eventually experience. The quality of our interactions indicates how well we are preparing ourselves for association with the Supreme Lord. That is why association with others who are serious about spiritual life is so important. Through these experiences, we are learning to love and serve the Supreme.
The highest level of the spiritual world is a realm of eternal spiritual romance and of selfless, loving exchanges. To enter the realm of pure love, we must begin here and now in the material world to become pure, unmotivated servants. Any egocentric motivation disqualifies us, because to experience divine love we must feel joy in denying our own appetites for the pleasure of the loved one. We do not lose our own identity in the process. On the contrary, our true identity expands as we render service, and each expression of selflessness intensifies our capacity to experience ever more vast dimensions of love. When we are motivated by genuine love to act so selflessly, even more love is available to us.
Questions and Answers
Question: You mentioned that all world religions were essentially the same. Does that mean the differences don’t matter at all?
Answer: Of course important differences exist, based on how evolved a system is. However, sectarianism is very dangerous. Sectarian people are implying that God only gives His love through their particular group. Are we only eligible for God’s love if we are Episcopalian, Sufi, Baha’i, Hindu, or a member of some other religious system? There are many ministers, teachers and laypersons who would answer in the affirmative, believing that their teaching is the only valid one. This means that they believe God’s love to be so limited that He can express it in only one way. Yet we cannot serve the one God in a fragmented, sectarian way.
An analogy may help illustrate the reason for the existence of so many different religions. As parents trying to help our children, we may give them an instruction in one particular form. If they do not understand, or if they do not apply our advice properly, we may give them the instruction again in a slightly different form, because we care about them and want them to succeed. God acts in a similar fashion. He gives us the same instructions in a wide variety of ways, to ensure that we will learn to do the right thing.
If we humans can have many sons and daughters, then why should God, the supreme progenitor, have only one son? That does not make sense. In addition to Jesus, are not Muhammad and Buddha—as well as many others—also children of God? Actually, are we not all sons and daughters of the Lord? It is just that we are sons and daughters who have wandered off the path, whereas Jesus and other sons or daughters of God did not deviate at all. They tried to help those family members who went astray to come back into the fold.
All bona fide spiritual emissaries teach the Lord’s message according to their commission, meaning that each one has a special assignment to fulfill. They are helping to prepare souls to serve in various areas of God’s kingdom. If sectarianism were so important, millions of souls would be arguing and fighting once they arrived in the Lord’s abode, saying, “Hold on a minute! Where’s the place for the Seventh Day Adventists? I don’t have time for anybody else!” Or, “Where are the Suni Muslims? They are the true children of God.” Everyone would be aligned in opposing camps, ready to engage in battle. In such circumstances, when would anyone ever have a chance to glorify and serve the Lord?
If Jesus appeared among us at this time in history, he could easily be crucified more quickly than before. He would certainly have a lot of money changers to chase out of our contemporary temples all over the planet. It might not take long for Christians of various denominations to form an alliance to silence such a disturbing personality. If the Prophet Muhammad returned today, he would simply weep at the violence in the world, which demonstrates profound ignorance and misunderstanding of his teachings. In the Vedic tradition, if any of the great rishis and swamis returned to see how we were doing, they would be deeply discouraged.
Spiritual life is not about what label we give ourselves and others, how we pray or where we worship. Instead, it is about how genuine we are. Ultimately, it does not matter what vehicle we ride in. One person may like a Chevrolet; another may prefer a Mitsubishi or a Ford; and someone else may only feel comfortable in a Jaguar. The choice is up to us. The essential point is to get to our destination through a bona fide connection.
If we have a problem aligning with someone’s consciousness because of superficial differences, then we are not really interested in consciousness at all. And if we are not interested in consciousness, we are at an elementary level of evolution. Our collective state of consciousness is the crucial factor that will make the difference on this planet. The purpose of life has never been related to one’s religion. Instead, it has always been concerned with one’s level of spiritual development. The true struggle on this planet today is between those in a low, negative state of consciousness and those at a higher level.
Question: You talk about the material world and the spiritual world. What is the relationship between the two?
Answer: We can learn a great deal about the spiritual realm by examining the material world, which is a reflection of the genuine kingdom of God, even though this reflection is a perverted one. Most of us at one time or another have experienced uplifting associations with other people. Because these encounters were so wonderful, our thoughts became preoccupied with the person we were with, and we yearned to be in that individual’s company again. Sometimes our daydreams were so blissful that they carried us through many dull, boring or painful periods in our lives.
In a similar way, when we encounter difficulties in material life, we can remind ourselves that our original constitutional position is in the spiritual kingdom—an abode of pure, unending love and devotion. Our awareness of the joys of spiritual realization can help us move through the temptations and difficulties that we have to experience at this present time.
Even a single day, a single week or a single year can seem endless when things are not going well. But from the vantage point of eternity, this lifetime is just a small distraction, a temporary blip. Once we are back in the spiritual kingdom, the countless years that we passed in lower realms of existence will merely seem like flickering moments of a nightmare.
So if we are suffering, experiencing difficulties far greater than we can bear, we can make eternal life our point of reference and almost laugh at our troubles. We can remind ourselves that at some point in our evolution we will have a chance to become pure, so that all our present problems will vanish just as nightmares eventually do. It is as if we were in the spiritual world now, but have dozed off for a while. The whole experience of nodding off is what we are now undergoing in this material world, which seems filled with never-ending complications, miseries and challenges.
We can change our experience by turning away from relative material concerns and understanding more about transcendental love, which we can only appreciate as we deepen our knowledge of the soul. As we elevate our consciousness and become more transcendental, then all our current difficulties in the material world will fade into insignificance.
Question: To what extent do our attitudes toward money influence our attitudes toward love?
Answer: That is a nice question, because it has a lot to do with contemporary society. People who are unwilling to give financially probably will not give in other ways, either. Finances are just one aspect of a deeper problem. Those who refuse to share their money with their mates are most likely selfish in other aspects of their relationship. In a marriage, spouses should be generous with each other, considering everything as belonging to God, and therefore to their partners as well.
We have all heard the saying, “Money is the honey.” But actually, apart from what it symbolizes, money itself has little to do with love, although it can be a source of frustration that interferes with one’s expression of love. Divorce often occurs because of financial problems, and worries about money can cause tension in a family to the point that people cannot share their higher love. A husband and wife can focus so much on the mortgage, the insurance or the car that they forget about love and service. Communication disintegrates because each person is distracted, thinking: “Two more days; then I’ve got to make the car payment.”
A relationship is not deep if a couple can only function when everything is going well. The real tests come as difficulties arise, when both parties have the greatest need to receive love and to feel loved. Some people will allow problems to drive them further apart. But those who are truly loving will bond together even more, trying to be more selfless and denying themselves for each other. A woman might choose not to get a new dress so that her husband can get a new pair of pants. A father might choose not to get a car because he wants his child to go to a special school. Such sacrifices, which are expressions of love, help foster strong, close relationships.