There was an old woman from Kent,
Whose nose was remarkably bent.
One day, they suppose,
She followed her nose,
And nobody knows where she went.
There was an old man from Crewe
Who dreamed ( [dremt] ) he was eating his shoe.
He woke up in the night
With a terrible fright
And found it was perfectly true.
There was a young cannibal called Ned,
Who used to eat onions in bed.
His mother said “Sonny,
It’s not very funny.
Why don’t you eat people instead?“
There was a young lady from Gloucester ( [‘gloste] )
Whose parents thought they had lost her.
From a fridge came a sound,
And at last she was found.
The trouble was how to defrost her.
There was a young man called Paul,
Who grew so exceedingly tall,
When he got into bed
He could stretch out his leg
And turn off the light in the hall.
There was a young lady of Niger,
Who smiled as she rode on a tiger;
They returned from the ride
With the lady inside,
And the smile on the face of the tiger.