1. An observing man claims to have discovered the colour of the wind. He says he went out and found it blew.
2. Child: Mummy, what makes the Tower of Pisa lean?
Fat mother: I have no idea, dear, or I'd take some myself.
3. Advertisement: "Lion tamer wants tamer lion."
4. F a t h e r; Didn't I tell you not to pick any flowers without leave?
Child: Yes, daddy, but all these roses had leaves.
5. Diner: Waiter, the soup is spoiled.
Waiter: Who told you that?
Diner: A little swallow.
6. The difference between a cat and a comma is that a cat has its claws at the end of its paws, and a comma has its pause at the end of a clause.
7. A canner exceedingly canny
One morning remarked to his grannie:
"A canner can can anything that he can,
But a canner can't can a can, can'e?"
VI. Provide homonyms for the italicized words in the following jokes and extracts and classify them according to Professor A. I. Smirnitsky's classification system.
1.Teacher: Here is a map. Who can show us America?
Nick goes to the map and finds America on it.
Teacher: Now, tell me, boys, who found America?
Boys: Nick.
2. F a t h e r: I promised to buy you a car if you passed your examination, and you have failed. What were you doing last term?
Sîn: I was learning to drive a car.
3. "What time do you get up in summer?"
"As soon as the first ray of the sun comes into my window."
"Isn't that rather early?"
"No, my room faces west."
4. "Here, waiter, it seems to me that this fish is not so fresh as the fish you served us last Sunday." "Pardon, sir, it is the very same fish."
5. Old Gentleman: Is it a board school you go to, my dear?
Child: No, sir. I believe it be a brick one!
6. Stanton: I think telling the truth is about as healthy as skidding round a corner at sixty.
Freda: And life's got a lot of dangerous corners — hasn't it, Charles?
Stanton: It can have — if you don't choose your route well. To lie or not to lie — what do you think, Olwen?
(From Dangerous Corner by J. B. Priestley)