Why can’t you open the window and give us some air? If the captain’s in the loo, who’s driving this thing? Flight attendants are routinely asked the silliest questions and hear the most ridiculous complaints.
• “My children are getting bored. Is there anyone in the cabin crew that can do magic tricks?”
• A gentleman complained of a headache on a Milan flight and asked what the loud sound was. When told it was the jet engine he replied: “Tell the captain to turn them off because my I have a terrible headache.” He went on to threaten making an official complaint “as our terms and conditions did not state how loud the engines were during the flight”.
• One customer coming into London was worried about Heathrow being so close to Windsor Castle. He asked if cabin crew could arrange for the planes not to fly over the castle in the future in case the Queen found it a nuisance.
• One stewardess heard: “Why am I getting such a poor mobile phone signal? This flight is going to be really long and I’ll be bored if I can’t use my smart phone.”
• Flying into Nice, south of France, one passenger asked a stewardess if the pilot could “go a bit further down the coast so we can have a look at Monaco”.
• A group of ladies on a budget airline flight to Amsterdam kicked up a fuss because there were no free drinks. They left a comment saying: “Please could you have a wider choice of free wines, particularly champagne as this would make the journey much nicer.”
• An elderly gentleman flying from Australia was disappointed that the flight attendants weren’t attractive enough. “They were much prettier in the adverts, so the flight has not lived up to my expectations,” he complained.