Asking Too Much
An Englishman was driving along a country road in Ireland and met a man carrying a heavy bag.
"Can I take you into town?" the Englishman asked.
The Irishman said, "Thank you," and got into the car.
In a few minutes the driver saw that the Irishman was sitting with the heavy bag still in his hand.
"Why don't you put your bag down?" he asked.
"Well," answered the Irishman, "you've given me a ride in your car. I can't ask you to carry my bag as well."
# * *
"You say that I am the first model you ever kissed?"
"Yes."
"And how many models have you had before me?"
"Four. An apple, two oranges, and a vase of flowers."
* * *
Soph: But I don't think I deserve ari"absolute zero.
Prof; Neither do I, but it is the lowest mark that I am allowed to give.
* * *
A young writer sent a number of manuscripts to a celebrated newspaper columnist, asking his advice as to the best channel for marketing the writings. The manuscripts came back with'this curt note: ■"The one channel I can conscientiously recommend as the greatest outlet for articles of this type is the English Channel,"