One of Mark Twain's Jokes
The famous American writer, Mark Twain, had to give a lecture one evening in a small town. He got to the town in the afternoon, and after dinner went into a shop to buy some ink and paper. After he had bought the things he needed, he told the man in the shop that he wanted to see some of the interesting buildings and places in the town, and he asked the man to tell him what to see and where to go.
The man took a city map and showed him where to go. Then he said: "Mark Twain is going to give a lecture at the writer's club this evening. If you'd like to go to the lecture, you must buy your ticket now. If you don't, you'll have to stand during the whole lecture."
"Yes, yes, I know, "Mark Twain said: "Whenever Mark Twain lectures, I have to stand."
Mark Twain's Lecture
Once a literary club invited Mark Twain to give a lecture. Before the lecture, one of the members of the club came to him and said: "Mr. Twain, people say that you can tell very funny stories, t hope that during your lecture you will tell a story that will make my uncle laugh. He hasn't laughed for ten years."
"I'll do my best", Mark Twain said.
When he began his lecture, Mark Twain noticed the club member. He was sitting in from of him with an old man who had a very sad face.
Mark Twain began to tell jokes, one after another. "I told long jokes and short jokes, new jokes and old jokes", Mark Twain told his friends. "I told every joke in my memory, and soon everybody was laughing. Everybody — but not the old man. He continued to look at me with his cold, blue eyes. I was ashamed to think that I couldn't make him laugh, and I tried again and again. But nothing helped"...
After the lecture, the club member came to Mark Twain and said, "Thank you, Mr. Twain. I have never heard so many funny stories."
"They weren't funny enough for your uncle," Mark Twain answered. "He didn't even smile!"
"I know," the man said. "I told you that he hasn't laughed for ten years. But I didn't tell you that he hasn't heard anything for ten years. He is deaf."