Навчальний посібник з англійської мови для студентів І курсу

Міністерство освіти і науки України

Херсонський державний університет

Факультет дошкільної та початкової освіти

 

 

Кафедра іноземних мов

 

Навчальний посібник з англійської мови для студентів І курсу

 

Васильєва О.В.

 

 

Херсон - 2007

The English Alphabet:The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog

Abbreviations

S – підмет

S₁ – підмет головного речення

S₂ – підмет підрядного речення

V – дієслово

V inf. – дієслово (інфінітив)

V₂ – дієслово в другій формі

V₃ –дієслово в третій формі

V ing. – дієслово в четвертій формі

N – іменник

sing. – однина

pl. – множина

Вступ

Сьогодні англійською мовою розмовляють понад 350 мільйонів людей. Географічно це найпоширеніша мова в світі, адже 44 країни визнають англійську мову як офіційну: Великобританія, США, Австралія, Нова Зеландія, Канада, Південно-Африканська Республіка та ін.

Англійська мова належить до германської групи індоєвропейських мов. Вона формувалась протягом багатьох століть на острові Великобританія в умовах різноманітних переміщень певних етнічних груп (кельтські племена, англи, сакси, юти, нормани та ін.).

Тривалі безпосередні контакти з різними мовами завойовників, торгівельні зв’язки, колонізаторська активність англійців значною мірою сприяли тому, що поряд з міцним та стійким ядром англійських слів у словниковому складі з’явилась велика кількість запозичень з латинської, грецької, датської, французької, італійської, іспанської, російської мов. Значне поширення англійської мови почалось у 17 столітті разом з переселеннями перших емігрантів до Північної Америки. Зріст населення США та еміграція 19 та 20 століть створювали сприятливі умови для становлення англійської мови як всесвітньої.

Людей, які володіють англійською умовно можна поділити на 3 групи: 1- ті, для кого вона є рідною; 2- люди, які вивчили мову в умовах білінгвізму; 3- особи, які оволоділи англійською з практичною метою. Сьогодні кожна сьома людина планети належить до однієї з 3 груп.

У сучасному світі англійська мова є мовою прогресивної науки, нових технологій, торгівлі, культурних відносин, бізнесу. Це мова світової авіації шоу-бізнесу та спорту. 75 % світової пошти надсилається англійською мовою.

Мільйони людей вивчають її як іноземну, адже це є абсолютною необхідністю для кожної освіченої людини, для кожного спеціаліста своєї галузі.

 

Фонетичні особливості

Звукова будова англійської мови значною мірою відрізняється від російської та української. Існують звуки, що відсутні в українській мові, наприклад, [w], [æ], [θ], [η] та ін. Є звуки, що схожі зі звуками рідної мови, але мають специфічні особливості вимови - [t], [d], [l]. Певна група звуків мають значні відповідності в обох мовах – [b], [p], [v], [m] та інші.

Специфіка англійської орфографії

У сучасній англійській мові існують значні розбіжності між звуковим і буквеним складом слова, адже орфографія не змінювалась протягом тривалого часу, в той час як звукова система мала суттєві зміни. Виділяють 44 звуки, 26 букв (6голосних), ось чому одна й та сама буква може в різних позиціях читатися по-різному, і навпаки, один звук може позначатися різними буквами чи буквосполученнями.

Фонетична транскрипція

Кількість звуків значно перебільшує кількість букв алфавіту. Для зображення всіх звуків розроблена міжнародна система фонетичної транскрипції – система запису звуків за допомогою символів.

У фонетичній транскрипції кожен звук відповідає певному символу. Фонетична транскрипція ґрунтується на латинському алфавіті, до якого додали декілька особливих символів. Деякі символи – це літери інших мов, наприклад, [θ] – грецька літера. Фонетична транскрипція подається у дужках [] після орфографічного позначення слова. [:] – позначає довготу голосного звука. ['] – позначення наголосу, ставиться перед наголошеним складом.

Знання символів фонетичної транскрипції забезпечує правильну вимову незнайомих слів під час роботи зі словником.

Особливості письмової передачі приголосних звуків

Англійські звуки	Букви, якими передаються
[g]	g, gg
[k]	k, ck, c, cc
[S]	sh, (суфікси ssure, ssion,ion,si, ci, ti+голосний в середині слова)
[tS]	ch, tch, cуфікс tur(e)
[3]	ci, si+ голосний або суфікс ure
[s]	s, c, ss
[z]	z, s
[d3]	J, g, dg
[η]	ng, n перед k
[ð], [θ]	th

Exercises

Father, chalk, page, just, what, know, young, mud. 2. Pronounce the sounds. [b-p, v-f, z-s, g-k, d-t].

Nouns

countable book, teacher, boy, school, class, student.

non – countable milk, grass, sand, news, food, information, economics, physics, air, money, homework, love.

a, the, some, any		the, some, any
this, that, these, those		this, that
none, one, two, three …		none
many a lot of (a) few		much a lot of (a) little

 

 

Утворення множини іменників ( the Plural)

+ S	+ ES	Якщо закінчується на
В основ них випад ках: a flower– flowersa book - books	Якщо закінчується на букво сполучення–s, –ss, -ch, -sh, -x: a fox – foxes, a dress - dresses	Y	O	F	FE
Передує приголос ний Y→ I + ES: a country–сountries, a party - parties	Передує голосний + S: a boy – boys, a day - days	+ ES a hero – heroes, a potato potatoes	F → V +ES: a leaf - leaves	F→ V + S: a wife– wives, a knife- knives

 

У складних іменниках форму множини має головне за значенням слово: hotel-keeper – hotel-keepers.

Деякі іменники вживаються лише у формі однини або лише у множині:

Singular Plural

advice scissors

information trousers

progress spectacles

knowledge tights

money jeans

hair pyjamas

 

Exercises

2 Put in this / these / that / those. 1. …..this….chair 6. …………houses 10. …places …

Exercise

1. Make them possesive.

1. (the camera/Ann)	Ann’s camera
2. (the birthday/your sister)	……………..
3. (the house/my friend)	……………..
4. (the room/my friend)	……………..
5. (the brother/Robert)	……………..
6. (the nephew/Philip)	……………..
7. (the job/my brother)	……………..
8. (the question/teacher)	……………..
9. (the dictionary/students)	……………..
10. (the friend/Kate)	……………..

 

The Article (Артикль)

В англійській мові перед іменниками вживається особливе службове слово – артикль: означений the і неозначений a (an).

The Article

Exercises

1. Britain is an island. 2. Bob is … student. 3. Mary is … architect.

The Adjective (Прикметник)

В англійській мові прикметники не змінюються ні за родами, ні за числами, ні за відмінками: а red rose – red roses; a young man – young men; usefull; helpless; formal; eatable; unhappy; indifferent; dark-blue. Вони змінюються лише за ступенями порівняння.

Degrees of Comparison

  good – better – the best bad – worse – the worst little – less – the least much - more – the most many far -…     as…….…..as

Adjectives

  Fact Opinion (they give objective information) large / new / round / young hot / sunny / small (they… Opinion adjectives usually go before the fact adjectives: … Sometimes there are two or more fact adjectives. Very often (but not always) we put fact adjectives in…

Exercises.

  2 Write the opposite. 1. younger …….…….older 2. colder ………………….. …  

Exercises.

2 Transform according to the model: They play well. They are good players. 1. She sings badly. ……………………

Exercises.

1 Read the following numerals (cardinal and ordinal). Write them down. 2, 10, 3, 1, 8, 4, 5, 11, 19, 22, 30, 13, 14, 40, 15, 50, 66, 77, 100, 202,…  

The Pronoun (Займенник).

Exercises

Iwant to see her but she doesn’t want to see me. 1. I want to see him but …………… doesn’t want to see … 2. They want to see me but ……….. don’twant to see ……

Present Indefinite

Remember: always – завжди; often – часто; usually – звичайно; sometimes – інколи; rarely – рідко; occasionally – час від часу; every day – щодня… … Illustrative situation: My name is Tom. I am a first year student. I study at Ukrainian State Academy of Water Management. I live in the hall…

Exercises

  2. Complete the sentences. Use the correct form of these verbs. Boil close… 1. She’s very clever. She speaks four languages.

Past Indefinite

Remember: yesterday – вчора; last week – минулого тижня; an hour ago – годину тому назад; last Monday – у понеділок. Illustrative situation: It was Sunday yesterday. I got up later usual. I didn‘t do morning exercises. I had a wash, a shave and breakfast. It…

Exercises

  2. Complete these sentences. Use one of these verbs in the Past Indefinite. … 1. Yesterday evening I watched television.

Future Indefinite

Remember: tomorrow – завтра; the day after tomorrow – післязавтра; next Monday – наступного понеділка; tomorrow morning – завтра вранці. Illustrative situation: I shall go to Kyiv next week. My father will go there on holidays. We shall live in a room at a hotel. We shall visit…

Exercises

  2. Where will you be? Write sentences about youself. Use I’ll be … / I’ll… 1. (tomorrow at 10 o’clock). I’ll probably be on the beach. (or I’ll be at work ……? or I don’t know where I‘ll be)

Present Continuous

Illustrative situation: It’s autumn. The weather is bad. It’s raining heavily. People are hurrying…   I’m (am) I’m not standing.   Where am I standing? …

Exercises

  2.Write what is true for you now, around now, or in the near future. …  

Past Continuous

Illustrative situation: Yesterday I went to our academy library. There were a lot of students there.…   I was wasn’t (was not) working.   Where   was …

Exercises.

2. You saw your friend in the street yesterday afternoon. What was he (she) doing? Write positive or negative sentences. 1. (he / wear / a…   3. Write questions. Use was / were –ing. 1. (what / Tim / do / when you saw him) What was Tim doing…

Future Continuous

2) запланована на майбутнє, у цьому випадку можна також вживати Present Continuous; 3) ми часто вживаємо Future Continuous коли запитуємо про плани людей,… Illustrative situation:

Exercises

  2. You’d like to visit your friend Tom at his place tomorrow afternoon, but… 1. What will you be going at 6 p.m.? I’ll be busy.

Consolidation

Things to remember

1. Look! Somebody is climbing up that tree over there. 2. Can you hear those people? What do they talk about& 3. Are you believing in God?

Mini-test

1. When summer will come, we shall go to the country. A B C D 2. I often watches TV in the afternoon.

Discuss the proverbs

As the mother, so is the daughter. Яка мати, така й дочка.

A child may have too much of his mother’s blessing. Занадто ніжна мати псує дитину.

 

Kherson

Population of Kherson is nearly 360, 000 people. Today it is a large sea- and river-port. There are two bridges over the Dnieper which join Kherson… 10 years ago the main branches of industry here were ship-building, textile… There is a good drama theatre and a puppet-show. If you like painting you can go to, the Art Museum. There are good…

Discuss the proverbs

Dry bread at home is better than the honey of others. Ліпша своя солома, ніж чужа перина.

There is no place like home. Де рідний край, там і рай.

Home is where the heart is. Твій дім там, де твоє серце.

Kherson State University

There are about 36 chairs where famous professors and senior lecturers work. There are 11 faculties and institutions at the University. I study at one of the faculties. Our classes begin at 9 o'clock in the morning… The students of the University combine theoretic study and practical work at schools. The graduates of our University…

Faculty of Pre-School and Elementary Education

Due to instruction by correspondence students, having specialized secondary education on speciality can get a speciality of teacher of primary… Since 1997 the students enrollment to external studies, where one can receive… The teaching and educational process is provided by four faculty departments: pedagogics of primary education,…

Hobbies

Hobbies are divided into four large classes: doing things, making things, collecting things and learning things. I think the most popular of all hobbies is doing things. It includes a wide… Many people go in for sports. It is their hobby. They go jogging, swimming, skating, skiing, train in clubs and…

Vocabulary

to choose (chose, chosen)—обирати according—відповідно taste—смак

MY FUTURE PROFESSION OF A TEACHER

“Climate” of a classroom depends on the relations between a teacher and his pupils. These relations must be based on respect for a person. A primary… A good teacher studies his children: their interests, strengths and… A good teacher must be strict and kind at the same time. He must always control his temper. Above all, a good teacher…

Discuss the proverbs

Дитина найбільше потребує любові, коли найменше її заслуговує. A child’s spirit is easily broken and difficult to heal. Душу дитини легко зламати, але важко вилікувати.

GREAT BRITAIN

The United Kingdom is situated on the British Isles. The British Isles consist of two large islands, Great Britain and Ireland and a great number… The British Isles are separated from the European continent by the North Sea… The island of Great Britain consists of three main parts: England (the southern and middle pat of the island), Wales…

SIGHTS AND SOUNDS OF LONDON

In the middle of Piccadilly Circus there is a statue said to be of Eros, the god of love. Few people know that it really represents the Angel of… The atmosphere of Piccadilly is very cosmopolitan. You can hear around a great… Trafalgar Square was built early in the last century to commemorate the Battle of Trafalgar. Admiral Lord Nelson’s…

Houses of Parliament

St. Paul’s Cathedral. St. Paul’s Cathedral was designed by Sir Christopher Wren between 1675 and 1710 and is not only the final resting place of… Tower of London- has for over 900 years guarded London from the Thames and has…

Travelling by Underground

If You Lost Something in Public Transport

WEST END - WESTMINSTER ABBEY - CHANGING OF THE GUARD

West End. Today you can see some of our major shopping and entertainment centres, along with some of our famous Royal Parks. In elegant Mayfair and… Westminster Abbey – a chance to walk through England’s history. As a Royal… Changing of the Guard – at Buckingham Palace. We leave the bus at the Mall and walk our way to the Queen’s residence.…

VISIT THE CROWN JEWELS

Ancient City and St. Paul’s Cathedral. This is the oldest part of London and houses most of our financial and legal institutions. You will see buildings like the Stock Exchange and the Bank of England, to name but a few, before we arrive at St. Paul’s Cathedral. It was designed by Sir Christopher Wren between 1675 and 1710 and is not only the final resting place of famous soldiers, statesmen, painters and poets, but also the scene of many famous weddings - most remarkable that of Prince Charles and Lady Diana.

Tower of London- has for over 900 years guarded London from the Thames and has served as a fortress, a royal palace, a prison, a museum and a place of execution. The atmosphere in this incredible, historic monument is filled with tragic memories of the past. During our visit you will be impressed by unique Crown Jewels, and also see our traditional Beefeaters.

THE BEST LONDON MUSEUMS

A. Victoria and Albert Museum.

It’s an outstanding museum, displaying applied arts of all disciplines, all periods, all nationalities, and all tastes. This is always referred to as V & A. Prince Albert, was responsible for the foundation of this permanent version of the 1851 Great Exhibition. See it and you will never forget it.

B. The Tate Gallery.

It was given to the nation by a rich sugar merchant, Sir Henry Tate, who had a taste for the fine arts. It overlooks the Thames, not far from the Houses or Parliament. English artists are naturally well represented here, and the gallery also has a lot of modern works, including some sculptures by foreign artists.

C. The National Gallery.

It is situated on the north side of Trafalgar Square and contains Britain’s best known collection of 2,200 pictures. The collection

was begun in 1824, with the purchase of thirty eight pictures. The gallery is rich in paintings by Italian masters, it contains pictures representative of all European schools of art, and of course, the best English tradition, including Turner, Hogarth, Gainsborough, Stubbs and Constable. Admission to the gallery is free, as is the case with other British national museums and galleries.

D. The British Museum.

This is the world famous museum. Allow plenty of time here. There are 4 kilometres of the space inside, split into nearly 100 galleries of treasures from everywhere in the world, some as old as humankind itself. This unique collection, in brief, represents the progress of civilisation. You’ll find here such rarities as Rosetta Stone, carved in 196 BC., the Mausoleum of Halicarnassus, one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, the famous Magna Carta, the Egiptian Mummies and a lot more unique exhibits.

E. The National Portrait Gallery.

The collection which is arranged chronologically begins on the top floor (Level 5) with the Tudors. Each room has been given a particular historical theme. The gallery was founded in 1856 to collect the portraits of famous British men and women. The visitor can see portraits of British monarchs since the reign of Richard II (1377-1399), and of historical celebrities who created (and are still creating) the history and the culture of the nation.

F. Madam Tussaud’s.

This is one of London’s busiest sights. Numerous visitors to the museum can see life-size wax figures of famous people: politicians, actors, athletes and Royalty. They can also see criminals and murderers in the Chamber of Horrors. The admission fee to this museum is the highest in London.

G. The Wallace Collection.

This collection was formed by Lord Hertford and his half-brother, Sir Richard Wallace. There is here a very fine display of weapons and armour, sculptures and paintings, pottery and miniatures.

TRAVELLING AROUND LONDON

BUYING YOUR TICKET

BUS TRAVEL

Most double-deckers have a conductor whom you pay after finding a seat. But there are a lot of ‘one-man’ single-deckers, in which you pay the driver… There are also Request Stops with red signs, a white symbol, and the word… Although travelling by bus is a good way to see sights, I wouldn’t recommend you to take the bus if you are in a…

TAXIS

The big black taxicabs are as much part of London as the red double-decker buses, yet many have been replaced by new models. Hotels and main tourist areas have taxi stands (just take the first in the line). You can also hail a taxi from the roadside.
If the yellow ‘TAXI’ sign on the top is lit, then the taxi is free to pick up passengers.
Many taxi drivers often drive at night with their ‘FOR HIRE’ signs unlit; this gives them a possibility to choose their passengers and avoid those they think might cause trouble. If you see an unlit cab with no passengers, hail it: you might be lucky.

FARES

The fare is recorded on a meter which the driver sets at the beginning of the journey. Fares start at £1 for the first 582 yards and increase by units of 20p per 291 yards or 60 seconds. Fares are usually higher at night, on Sundays and public holidays.

THE GREAT FIRE OF LONDON

The following year the Great Fire took place. It broke out late on a Saturday night in a street not far from London Bridge. The summer had been dry,… The fire burned for five days and destroyed the greater part of the city. But… A monument near London Bridge still marks the spot where the fire broke out. Sir Christopher Wren, the famous…

Education in Britain

Pre-primary and Primary Education

For day nurseries which remain open all the year round the parents pay according to their income. The local education authority's nurseries5 are… Most children start school at 5 in a primary school. A pri­mary school may be… By the time children are ready for the junior school6 they will be able to read and write, do simple addition and…

References

2. Eleven Plus Examination— отборочные экзамены в 11 с половиной лет (включают интеллектуальные тесты на проверку умственных способностей… 3. nursery schools— дошкольное учреждение; старшая группа детского сада 4. infants classes— классы первой ступени начальной школы (от 5 до 7 лет

Agatha Christie

Agatha was born in 1890 in Torquay in England. Her father's name was Frederick Miller, so she was born as Agatha Miller. Agatha was educated at home… In 1914 she married Archie Christie and became Ahatha Christie. She took … Agatha Christie became a popular writer when she published her novel The Murder of Roger Ackroyd in 1926. It is…

The English language

It is the official language in 44 countries. English is the official language of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, of the… The history of Great Britain helps to understand the present condition of… the language of the church and the universities in the Middle Ages.

Answer the questions.

2. How many people in the world speak English? 3. In what countries is English the official language? 4. Where is English one of the official languages of the country?

Christopher Columbus. The discovery of America

We don't know much about Christopher Columbus. He had blue eyes and red hair. He lived in Spain for a long time. He married the daughter of a sea… In the fifteenth century most people thought that the earth was flat. They… Columbus thought that it must be India. He called these islands the West Indies. People began to speak about the land…

Vocabulary

weaver|'wi:va] — ткач to earn— заробляти partly— частково

Read the beginning of the sentence and find its end in the text.

1. Christopher Columbus was sure that...

2.They gathered around sailors and ...

3.King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella were led to believe that ...

4. Christopher Columbus was born ...

5. Twice more Columbus tried ...

6. Columbus was a great explorer and many places...

7. When they landed they saw ...

Find in the text the historical event corresponding to the date.

1. 1493

2. 1451

3. 1492

4. 1502-1504

 

EDUCATION IN THE USA

interplay — взаємодія; particularly evident — особливо помітно; to be considered — розглядатися як, вважати; province ['provins] — сфера діяльності,… The interplayof local, state and national programs and policies is particularly evident in the field of education.…

Holidays in the USA

Independence day is the most important American holiday. They celebrate it on the 4th of July. On the 4th of July in 1776 the American colonies… Martin Luther King's Day is celebrated in January. Martin Luther King was a… Memorial Day is celebrated on the last Monday in May. On this day Americans honour the soldiers killed in war. There…

CURIOUS PROBLEMS and PUZZLES

 

Nuts for the Monkeys

"If I divide all the nuts equally among the eleven monkeys in the first cage", thought the man, "one nut will remain. If I divide… What is the smallest number of nuts that the man could have in his bag?  

The Electric Train

7. How Far Did the Dog Run? When Mrs. Fine, the farmer's wife, was coming home from the market, her little… 8. How Long Were the Candles?

Divide the Camels

Many years ago an Egyptian died and left 17 camels to his three sons. He left half of the camels to his eldest son, the second son was left a third of the camels and the youngest son was left one ninth of the camels.

The sons couldn't divide the camels without cutting up one of them. So they went to a judge for advice. The judge listened to the problem, thought a little and then announced the solution.

What was the solution?

Milk and Water

the milk in cup A. Is there then more milk in the water than there is water in the milk? Or is… 13. The Traveller's Dinner

Young for Her Age

My friend told that his grandmother is younger than his mother. Can this be

true?

The Cutting Room Floor

A film maker wants to cut a reel of film into individual pictures. These are 50 pictures on the reel and it takes him two seconds to cut off each picture. How long does it take him to separate all the pictures?

FUNNY STORIES ABOUT FAMOUS PEOPLE

The famous American writer, Mark Twain, had to give a lecture one evening in a small town. He got to the town in the afternoon, and after dinner… The man took a city map and showed him where to go. Then he said: "Mark… "Yes, yes, I know, "Mark Twain said: "Whenever Mark Twain lectures, I have to stand."

The Absent-Minded Scientist

Many stories are told about Newton's absent-mindedness. Here is one of them.

One day Newton was thinking about his work. His servant entered his study. She brought an egg which she wanted to boil on a lamp in his presence, so as to be sure of its being just right. Newton, who wanted to be left alone, told her he would boil the egg himself. The servant put the egg on the table beside Newton's watch and asked Newton not to leave the egg in the boiling water more than two minutes and a half. Imagine her astonishment when on her return she found Newton standing in front of the lamp looking attentively at the egg which he held in his hand, while the watch was being boiled in the little kettle over the lamp..

Too Great a Majority

It was the first night of "Arms and the Man", a play which had a very good reception from a crowded house. When the curtain fell at the… Bernard Shaw appeared before the curtain, waited in silence until the end of… Edison's First Invention

What His Life Was Worth

Robert Burns, the great Scotch poet, loved the common people and wrote about them. One day when Burns took a walk near the docks, he heard a cry for help. He ran towards the water. Just then a sailor jumped off a boat that stood near the dock, and began to swim towards the man who was calling for help.

The man who was saved from drowning was a rich merchant. When he recovered, he thanked the brave sailor and gave him a shilling.

By this time a large crowd of people gathered around them. They called the sailor a hero and protested loudly when the rich man gave him only a shilling.

But Burns stopped them and said: "Let him alone.-The gentleman is, of course, the best judge of what his life is worth."

The Work That Made Defoe Famous

In 1712 Defoe met a sailor who had been alone on a desert island. Alexander Selkirk was his name. After a quarrel with his officer the sailor had… But Defoe didn't forget. Selkirk's unique experience captured his… And Defoe turned to writing the story of a shipwrecked man. He chose an island in a different part of the world for…

Swift and the Boy

One day the boy came to Swift's house with a present from his master. Swift's servant let the boy into the house, and the boy walked quickly up to… Swift, who was writing at a table, turned round and said: "My boy, that… The boy sat down, and Swift went out of the room. Soon he came and knocked at the door. "Come in", said the…

ENGLISH HUMOUR

A Barking Dog Does Not Bite

"Sam," says his father, "put on your cap and coat and let us go for a walk".

Sam is happy. He likes to go out with his father. He puts on his cap and coat and says: "Father, I'm ready." Sam and his father go out into the street. Suddenly they see a big black dog. The dog begins to bark. Sam is afraid of the dog. He wants to run home. His father says: "Don't be afraid, Sam. Don't you know the proverb: "A barking dog does not bite?"

"Oh, yes," says Sam, "I know the proverb, you know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb?"

It Only Made Matter Worse

A husband said to his friend; "My wife doesn't allow me to sleep. She is afraid of thieves, she wakes me up if she hears the slightest noise, and makes me got up to see if there are burglars in the house."

"You can easily get over the difficulty. Just explain to your wife that thieves don't make any noise; they work quietly and don't disturb anybody."

"I've already done that, old man, but it only made matters worse. Now she gets up several times every night because she hears nothing."

The Spoon

One day a young merry Irishman came to a little restaurant in London, sat down at a table and ordered dinner. Soon the waiter brought him a plate of soup and put it on the table in front of him. The Irishman looked at the soup and said: "1 can't eat the soup."

The waiter didn't say a word; he took the plate and went out. Some minutes passed, and he came with another plate of soup and put it on the table before the Irishman. The Irishman looked at the soup and said again: "I can't eat the soup."

The waiter did not know what to do and called the manager of the restaurant. The manager came up to the Irishman and asked him: "What's the matter, sir? Why can't you eat the soup?"

"Oh, said the Irishman. I can't eat it because I have no spoon."

A Good Lesson

A trembling class looked at the inspector as he poured out questions. But the boys were not to be caught, and the replies came back very well until he asked one boy whether he would prefer one sixth or one seventh of a lemon.

"I would prefer one seventh, sir," answered the boy. "One seventh?" said the inspector, and began to explain that, though that fraction sounded larger, it was really the smaller of the two.

"I knew that, sir," said the pupil. "That's why I chose it, I don't like lemons."

.

Both Mistaken

Once, in a train, a well-dressed man missed his silk handkerchief and accused a passenger of stealing it. After some confusion the man found the handkerchief in his pocked and apologized for having accused the passenger.

"Never mind," said the latter, "You thought I was a thief and I thought you were a gentleman, and we were both mistaken."

The King and the Critic

A king was in the habit of writing verses, which he thought were very good. Since he was a king, the people to whom he showed them did not want to criticize him but praised them to the skies. One day, however, he showed some of them to a philosopher, who found many faults with them. This made the king so angry that he sent the philosopher to prison. After some time, however, the king pardoned him, and, when he returned, invited him to dinner. Again he showed some of his verses to the philosopher and again asked what he thought of them. The philosopher turned to the guards who were standing near him and said, "Take me back to prison."

An Expensive Dinner

The parrot arrived first and was cooked. Then the husband came for dinner. "What's this?" he asked as the bird was served. His wife explained the cook's mistake.

Hospitality

The good wife apologized to her unexpected guest for serving the apple-pie without cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment, and returned with a piece of cheese, which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then remarked: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find it?"

The boy replied, "In the rat-trap."

Wet Paint

It is a dark night. A man is riding a bicycle with no lamp. He comes to a crossroad. He stops because he doesn't know which way to turn. A tall pole stands near the road with a piece of paper on it. But it is very dark and the paper is too high — he cannot read it. He takes out his box of matches and climbs up the pole. There he lights a match and then reads the following words on the paper: "Wet paint."

 

A Polite Thief

A man went into the country one Sunday for a walk. He carried his overcoat on his arm, but finding it burdensome he hung it on a fence. Taking a card from his pocket he wrote — "Do not touch this coat, infected

with smallpox.¹"

He came back two hours later and found the card only, upon which was written, underneath his warning — "Thanks for the coat, I've had the smallpox."

 

 

Riddles

2. What is it that everybody has seen, but can never see again? 3. What is it that never uses its teeth for eating? 4. What goes without moving from its place?

NUMBER TRICKS

Take a Number

Suggest that any person or group should select a number. This number is not to be told to the leader. He tries to find out what the number is. Suppose the number is 23.-—

Number selected................... 23

Double it.............................. 46

Add 1..................................... 47

Multiply by 5...................... 235

Add 5.................................. 240

Multiply by 10................. 2,400

The leader now subtracts 100 from the result without saying anything. Thus 100 from 2,400 is 2,300. Strike off last two digits and announce that the number is 23.

Your Pocket Change

Think of a number (your age, for example). Double it. Add five. Multiply by 50. Add the change (less than a gryvnia) that you have in your pocket. Subtract the number of days in a year — 365. Add 115.

The number will be the first two digits. The amount of change will be indicated by the last two digits. - Thus:

2 times the person's age........ 30

Add 5.................................... 35

Multiply by 50.................. 1,750

Add the 21 copecks in the pocket ... 1,771
Subtract 365 days in the year 1,406

Add 115............................ 1,521

You announce that the age is 15 and the amount of change in the pocket is 21 copecks.

A Trick with Figures

Write down your house number or your telephone number or the total amount of the coins in your pocket. Multiply this by 2. To this add 5. Multiply that by 50. Then add your age. Now… Number, Please!

The Magic Fifteen

Answer: The secret lies in placing 5 at the centre and the working the corners with the numbers 2, 4, 8 and 6. See who can work it out first. What's Your Number? Take a number. Double it. Add 9. Subtract 3. Divide by 2. Subtract the number you first had in your mind. You can tell…

A Trick

Procedure. As soon as the dice have been thrown, the performer asks the person to take… When the performer is told the total figure, he at once announces the number of spots uppermost on each of the dice. …

Age and Month of Birth

Write down the number of the month of birth. Then go through the following:

Number of month of birth (April) 4

Double it................................ 8

Add 5.................................... 13

Multiply by 50.................... 650

Add your age (16)............... 666

Subtract 365 ...................... 301

The leader calls for the result. Then he secretly adds 115, making the total 416. He immediately announces April as the month of birth and 16 as the age. The first one or two digits indicate the month and the last two indi­cate the age.

Magic Addition

Here is a trick to play on your friend. Ask someone to write down in a line all the figures from one to nine, but leaving out the figure 8, like this: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 9.

Then say that this is a test of good writing and ask which figure is written badly.

Suppose the answer is the figure 2. Then tell your friend to multiply the whole line by 18, like this:

1 2345679

_______ _

98765432 12345679

222222222

As you see, the answer is all twos.

Then tell your friends that he has a lot of practice in writing the figure 2 and ought to be able to write it nicely.

The secret is privately to multiply whatever number is given by 9. In the example given, 2x9 = 18.

Suppose the number given is 5, then your friend will have to multiply the line by 45, and the answer will be all fives.

WORD CHANGING

Example: Change a word meaning a place for skating (rink) into what you do when thirsty {drink). 1. Change the reason for umbrellas into a quick means of travel. 2. "Change a mass of hay into something much used in building.

CROSSWORDS

5. A drop of the fluid from the eyes. 9. Mindfully, with consideration. 14. The man parent. 15. High mental ability; gift. 17. Allowable. Down: 1. Pure. 2. To make allusion to; to direct attention. 4. Sharp. 6. Answer. 7. To come into. 8. Not loose. 10. Lucky. 11. Not long. 12. A spherical body; the earth. 13. To come or go…

POEMS

George Gordon Byron

(1788-1824) My Native Land — Good Night

(An extract from "Child Harold's Pilgrimage")

"Adieu! adieu! my native shore

Fades o'er the waters blue;

The Night-winds sigh, the breakers roar,

And shrieks the wild sea-mew.

Yon Sun that sets upon the sea

We follow in his flight;

Farewell awhile to him and thee,

My native Land — Good Night!

"A few short hours, and he will rise

To give the morrow birth;

And I shall hail the main and skies

But not my mother earth.

Deserted is my own good hall,

Its hearth is desolate;

Wild weeds are gathering on the wall;

My dog howls at the gate.

Thomas Hood

(1799-1845)

To a Falser Friend

Our hands have met, but not our hearts;

Our hands will never meet again.

Friends, if we have ever been,

Friends we cannot now remain:

I only know I loved you once,

I only know I loved in vain.

Our hands have met, but not our hearts;

Our hands will never meet again.

SONGS

THE BEATLES

Yesterday

All my troubles seemed so far away, Now it looks as though they're here to stay, Oh, I believe in yesterday.

Scorpions

Still Loving You

To win back your love again I will be there, I will be there... Love, only love

BRITNEY SPEARS

Born to Make You Happy

And thinking about the times that we've been through (oh my love) I'm looking at a picture in my hand