A gentleman sent home to his wife a very clever parrot for a birthday-present. On the same day his wife had gone to a shop, ordered a chicken, and told the cook, "There is a bird coming for tonight's dinner. Cook it."
The parrot arrived first and was cooked.
Then the husband came for dinner.
"What's this?" he asked as the bird was served. His wife explained the cook's mistake.
"This is awful," said the gentleman. "Why, the bird could speak five languages."
"Then why on earth didn't it say anything?" asked his wife.
The Professor's Lunch-Frog
The absent-minded professor was lecturing an anatomy.
"To show you more clearly what I mean, I have a parcel here containing a dissected frog. I want you to examine it very carefully."
The professor began to unwrap it and saw that it contained two sandwiches and a hard boiled egg. On recognizing it, the professor said: "I was sure I had eaten my lunch! But where is the frog?"