A portrait of a young couple

A portrait of a young couple. As a rule, a young family consists of a very young husband wife. Usually a female is married to a young man who is older than her at least 3-4 years as well as capable of taking good care of the family.

One major problem associated with early marriages is low income such parents are usually less educated are not of a high professional status. There are some explanations, why early marriages are popular with those people, who are of low economic status. Usually teenagers from such families are not interested in their future professional training or simple basic education, so they find family life more attractive than studying they do not see any obstacles to engage in early marriages.

Those jobs that do not require special knowledge, suppose a low level of education, are always offered to such early couples. Sometimes girls fail to foresee their future even when they are 18 hence they resort to early marriages with parental support. In addition, pregnancies before marriage are widespread in families with low social-economic status.

It is also a known fact that those who performed below average while in school as compared to their friends of the same age nurse a dream of having a family living apart from their parents even before finishing basic school getting high education. They think, they will be able to get further education after marriage, but they do not realize that their chances for the future training decrease very fast, especially when children appear after some time of family life. Environmental factors also influence the age of young couple. For example, those people, who live in countryside, usually get married quite earlier than people who live in big cities.

The age of primary-marries also changes according to their cultural practices. For example, the suitable age for marriage in the Mohammedan countries is 12 years for a male 9 years for a female, while in the European countries this index is 25-29 years for a male 20-24 years for a female. Inhabitants of southern countries usually get married earlier than inhabitants of northern countries.

Here I would like to give an extract from the report of Afghan teens, who speak out against early marriages on World Population Day it is taken from the Internet. This example reveals the attitude of the modern young towards early marriages in the country where conservative traditions hold firm, daughters bring a dowry early pregnancy contributes to soaring rates of maternal morality, but students emphasize the importance of educating girls, protecting their health delaying marriage childbirth.

If my parents tried to force me to marry, I would refuse, declared Zohal, 16, as her fellow students nodded in agreement. Zohal her classmates belong to a small group of Afghan girls who attend secondary school. While girls school was closed for 5 years by the former Taliban regime, she was studying in Pakistan. Her family returned to Afghanistan last year. Some of the girls also spoke about their hopes for themselves their country.

Zohal wants to go to university study economics. She wishes all Afghan girls could attend school. Girls have to finish their studies they have to be literate. Girls have human rights, she said. Our country has many problems after 20 years of war, Zohal added. We need good doctors to help our people. We need schools in many villages, there are no schools. People have to be literate to develop Afghanistan.

Muzhgan, 16, wants to stay in school so she can become a doctor someday open a hospital to help the poor. Young people must be able to finish education before they marry 25 is a good age to get married, she said. Parents must not pressure their children. Like Zohal, Muzhgan said she would not accept an early forced marriage, but also noted that her parents were committed to letting her to finish her education. Most Afghan women start childbearing early have many children, a dangerous situation given the country s appalling lack of health services.

The right size for a family is 2 children, one boy one girl Muzhgan opined. Another classmate suggested that two boys two girls were ideal. In my opinion, Zohal said parents need only one child, a girl, like my family has. Numerous researches show that less emotionally stable girls fellows get married earlier than their friends of the same age. Besides, such a young couple is less adapted to all the circumstances of their young family life. But during their first years of marriage they usually make progress in mental development faster than their unmarried friends do, that is why there is practically no difference between them in some years.

It is obvious, that if such a wedlock turns to be viable, it means that it becomes the major point in the development of the individuality social maturity of the newly-weds. Usually relationships between a young couple their parents are not quite satisfactory. Young fellows always argue with their parents less attached to their fathers.

And young wives, who are preys to their doubts who clash with their husbands, usually say they had some problems with their parents, especially with mothers, during their childhood youth. THE REASONS FOR THE EARLY MARRIAGES. Main reasons for the early marriages are constantly growing sexual requirements, pregnancies dating during early age, accelerated growing-up force of associates superfluous romanticism, a radiant picture of a marriage escaping from difficulties, a way of solving personal problems economic wealth.

Let s discuss each of this reasons more detailed. It does not matter whether we like it or not but sexual life of teenagers usually begins before marriage even before finishing basic school. Here is the statistics of the main sorts of motivation for sexual intercourse of A men curiosity 45 - 15 years 51 - 16-17 years love 15 - 15 years 20 - 16-17 years insisting of a partner 15 - 15 years 19,2 - 16-17 years B women love 25 - 15 years 42,6 - 16-17 years insisting of a partner 25 - 15 years 21 - 16-17 years curiosity very seldom Besides, usually those girls, who decided to start their sexual life before they are 15, say that the major motive was an economic one 25 men say it was just a physical necessity 5 - 15 years 16,4 - 16-17 years 21,5 - 18-21 years That is why the main reason for the early marriages, especially during school years, is pregnancy.

Numerous researches show that young people prefer relationships that are closely connected with tenderness permission.

Nowadays a great amount of teenagers decides to start sexual intercourse without felling of love or even without feeling of affection towards the partner. For example, here are different reasons for sexual intercourse that are widespread among young people 1. For punishing She made me feel angry, so I did it to spite her. In this case sex is a way of showing hostility, the way of vengeance.

Some girls make love because they want to have a baby for taking vengeance on their parents. 2. For getting back the signs of favour I spent 15 on you yesterday, so what are you going to give me back, How can I show you my appreciation for the present you gave me Practically, it is a sort of prostitution, because here sex is a way of payment 3. For controlling the partners behaviour If I am going to spend a night with you, will you marry me, Let s have a baby our parents will not be able to do anything against our marriage 4. For rising of selfapprairal Everybody will be surprised when they get to know who I spent my last night with, Let s have a deal you ll give me 5 if she is mine, I will show you how irresistible I am 5. For exploitation for getting a physical satisfaction without any responsibility.

If a girl decides to spend a night with a fellow, it does not mean she loves him. Sometimes sex means I love you I need you I have no feelings towards you I hate you I want to make you feel pain. That is why sex can be connected with love hatred, it can help make harm, it can bring satisfaction disappointment.

The result is made of the motivation for sexual intercourse, of the expectations from it, of the degree of importance but not of the fact if a person just makes love or not. Sexual intercourse is not the same as ordinary deeds it reveals the way a person exists, lives feels. Force of associates parents, friends, society also pushes teenagers slightly into the early marriage. Sometimes there are even cases of chain reactions of marriages at schools when one couple decides to get married, the other couple decides to do the same thing.

Nobody wants to fall behind. Sometimes this force is provoked by their parents, who do not want their daughter to stay single for the rest of her life or who do not want their son to look like a crank. Usually teenagers see their prospective wedlock as a fairy-tale. They have a radiant picture of their marriage.

They feel as they were the main heroes of a romantic novel where a fellow a girl fall in love, marry are happy till the end of their days. The same feelings are also popular with those teenagers whose parents are divorced or have created new families. The feeling of love, feeling of romantic love, is considered to be the most wonderful the most pleasant feeling in our society that is why a great amount of young people hurry to experience it. They think that marriage is the only way to conserve their love forever the only way to make their feelings never go away. Those girls, who get married early, think that marriage is the major aim of their whole lives.

Sometimes marriage is considered to be a sort of escaping from the difficulties during their studying just escaping from the pressure of their parents. It can be explained by their inability to build good relationships with people of their age also by their indecision lack of self-confidence. That is why a great percentage of young couples consist of emotionally nonstable people.

Usually early marriages happen to be during the economic prosperity less during decline. The explanation is rather simple family life requires a lot of money that is why when the jobs are available, young people think they can take care of their family after the marriage. ADAPTATION AND PROSPECTIVE DIFFICULTIES. A young couple is faced with a lot of problems these problems are usually the same ones of every family, but teenagers are not able to solve them because of their immaturity.

Practically, this is the basic point which stands in the way of well-being of every early marriage. Lack of experience also causes a lot of difficulties. Less matured young people will make unreasonable decisions in choosing their prospective spouse. They need a long period of time to find out what the person is how he behaves in various situations. Sometimes it is difficult for young people to observe things realistic, when they are in love, so it is difficult for them to choose a real helpmate.

Less matured young people are not able to foresee the way their individuality will develop. Young people always change during the growing-up that is why they usually feel disappointed after some years of family life when they see their helpmate as a person they have not been looking for. The young always discover something new inside themselves during their development they realize they have nothing in common with people around them, so a young couple, who have been happy for the first period of their marriage, suddenly discover they have become strangers to each other.

For example, a young girl, who has already finished school, does not want to stop her professional training is going to get knowledge for prospective occupation, so, she is not interested in family life any more. Or, for example, a fellow, who becomes skilled after some time, is surprised to discover that his girlfriend has no balance views on this or that problem or he is even able to find absolutely another sort of person near him, because of the development of his young wife. Less matured young people are not able to find decisions to all difficult situations that will appear during their young family life. All facts say that emotional maturity skills for finding good solutions to all problems are closely connected with each other. A lot of young people are emotionally nonstable.

They are less self-confident.

They just argue with their parents showing their independency. That is why it is usually very difficult for them to solve all existing problems in their family life. They sometimes do not want even to talk to each other, so they are not able to find the right solution to each problem. Many young people do not possess such quality as responsibility, before they are going to marry someone. They are young, they want to live their lives, to go out, to spend their time with friends, to have fun, etc. A fellow is tired of being a bread winner he is tired of the necessity of being a husband, a father.

Girls are not ready for being mothers for being responsible for taking care of their children, of their family. One of the main problems of early marriages is the early paternity maternity. The main part of young couples is going to have a baby after a year of a family life. There is a dependency between the age of a young couple the time they are going to have a baby the more the spouses are young, the more the probability of a baby during their first year after the marriage increases.

The percentage of the pregnancies before marriages is very high when it is connected with sexual intercourse between very young boys girls. Early maternity is the reason for stress of the young girls. Young mothers who have not finished schools yet, may be expelled or fired from the work. They live in difficult awful conditions do not have enough money for taking care of the child.

They also suffer from the feeling of loneliness isolation from their friends they do not have enough time for themselves. A lot of young mothers are not able to find solution to this situation they have to ask their parents for help. They go to them stay to live with them. Doctors point to the danger that is connected with pregnancies of the early age. Children, born by such mothers, are usually prematurely born, have physical neuralgic deflections. Early pregnancies are also dangerous to the young girls.

Girls are not strong yet a baby turns to be a sort of extra load for their bodies. Here I would like to give some short stories of young girls, who decided to give birth to children, when they were only 15-16 years old. The stories are taken from The Cosmopolitan, February, 2005 We got acquainted by the Internet. I thought he was a reliable, strong-willed, serious person. He didn t like to use any preservatives I even wanted to have a baby from him. I didn t have any worries about my future.

Dima was studying at college was going to run his own business. I was studying at school, had a job of a messenger. I thought, I would be able to earn money for my family would take an external degree. And so I became pregnant. My Mom said I should have an abortion, but I liked to have my own way in life, so I decided to give birth to my baby. I was only 16 at that time Dima was only 17. We got married were happy, but everything changed after the birth of Egor. Dima wanted to go out, to spend time with his friends but I had to stay with our baby. I was disappointed in my life, I never thought I would feel so terrible Dima didn t help me, I became harsh rude. I suffered from the isolation from the whole world.

After a year of such family life we divorced. Now I realize, I was too young to have a baby, but I m quite happy today, don t want to change anything in my life. Ilmira Bulgakova, 18 I became pregnant when I was 15. Doctors said I would not have any children in my future, if I had an abortion, so I decided to bear. Andrey was 20 we got married.

I gave birth to a beautiful girl named Ania was very happy, But 1 realized I didn t love Andrey any more. I gave all my love to my little daughter. Andrey was not satisfied with our family life we divorced. My parents helped me a lot with my baby. When Ania felt asleep, I went out with my friends, read books, and visited different places. Sometimes I thought I was too stupid not to have an abortion, but when I looked deeply into my daughter s eyes, I blamed myself for such thought. Now I m 23, I m going to have another baby. I m quite happy.

My husband is a nice person I don t feel sorry for anything. Nadezhda Trubnikova, 23 The main problem of all early marriages is a financial one. Young couple is just depressed by their low income. Lack of proper education, inexperience youth do not help the young to receive a large payment for the jobs they do. Some young people decide to get married even without any sources to existing.

Usually young couple with low income lives because of the help of their parents who try to give their children everything they need they allow them to use their car, give money for buying products, spend time with grandchildren so on. The reason for lack of money in a young family is not only a low income but also radiant expectations of the young. Teenagers think they will be able to buy all that things immediately while their parents have needed years for achieving such wealth.

All young fellows desire to have a car. In spite of the low income of a family nearly 86 of the young bread winners at the age of 18-24 years have a car. They do not realize, they need money to keep the family, but they spend it to buy a car then to take care of it, so as a result, various conflicts appear because of the lack of money. Sometimes there are cases when a husband is just not able to earn a proper sum of money he is trying to find a job with all his strength, but he just can not. So, there is the other type of financial problems, connected with family in a whole when a wife earns more than her husband does. A husband who earns less than his wife is doomed to an early divorce, a poor sex life early death.

Money in marriage means power while women have crashed through the psychological barriers to the top jobs, men have been unable to cope with the position of the lower wage earner. The hard factors are that wives who out-perform their husbands in the employment arena set a domestic scenario for disaster.

Sex lives suffer feelings of love diminish. The couples run a high risk of mutual psychological physical abuse, which leads to a significantly higher divorce rate. Finally for some underachieving husbands whose wives are over achieves, premature death from heart disease is 11 times more frequent than normal. Such statistics is taken from the magazine The Psychology Today, US. The exception is in cases where wives earn more but in a typically female job secretary, nurse or researcher.

It is okay for your wife to have a higher-paying or higher status job, as long as she is a nurse or a teacher because that is what women are supposed to be. After the marriage, especially after the birth of a child, the young spouses stop to get satisfaction from their sexual life. They usually argue because of the quality the frequency of sexual contacts. Young wives are usually not satisfied with their husbands, who prefer spending their evenings in the company of the old friends to being with their wives.

Problems also appear when a young couple lives with relatives or parents they do not always see eye to eye on some problems, especially when the young get the material help from the relatives. Usually those parents, who give money to their young married children, think their newly-weds will be closer to the family, will tell all the secrets discuss all the problems with them. They want their children to be devoted to them they want them to be happy.

Parents try to help, but the young do not want to receive their help they want to be independent new conflicts appear. Nowadays nearly 10 of girls 3,1 of boys get married at the age of 18-19 years. 3,5 million of Americans live with their sexual partners without being married. Approximately 25 of all the students of colleges in America live with their partners during studying. The average age for teenagers to start go dating is 13 years.

A half of all teenagers have already started their sexual life till they are 16. MARRIAGE AND LOVE. Marriage is different from love. It is a good institution but I must add that a lot depends on the person you are married to. There is no such thing as a good wife or a good husband there is only a good wife to Mr. A or a good husband to Mrs. B. if a credulous woman marries a pathological liar, they may live together happily to the end of their days one telling lies, the other believing them. A man who can not live without constant admiration should marry a God, you are wonderful type of woman.

If he is unable to make up his mind, he is right in wedding a dictator. One dictator may prosper in marriage two are too many. The way to matrimonial happiness is barred to no one. It is all a matter of choice. If someone buys a refrigerator, it never occurs to him that it is a bad refrigerator because he can not play gramophone records on it nor he does he blame his hat for not being suitable for use as a flower vase. But many people who are very fond of their stomach marry their cock or a cook - then blame him for being less radiantly intelligent witty than George Sand. Or a man may be anxious to show off his wife s beauty elegance, marry a mannequin he surprised to discover in six months later that she has no balance views on the international situation. Another marries a girl only exclusively because she is seventeen he is much surprised 15 years later to find that she is not 17 any more. Or again if you marry a female bookworm who knows all about the gold standard, the laws of planetary motions, you must not blame her for being somewhat less beautiful temperamental than Marilyn Monroe.

And if ladies marry a title or a bank account they must not blame their husbands for not being romantic heroes.

YOU should know what you are buying. And as long as you do not play records in your refrigerator not put bunches of chrysanthemums into your hat, you have a reasonable chance of so-called happiness.